I’m not sure how time passes so quickly: here we find ourselves at the close of yet another year. It’s always good to take a bit of time to reflect over some of the highlights and challenges, and I’m once again grateful for those of you who have invited me to be part of your family’s story in such a special way.
The past year was intentionally a slower one when it comes to the number of babies I was privileged to welcome. I continue to find that life has various seasons, and trying to navigate how to focus more on my own children versus putting more energy into midwifery is a real part of life right now. As my children grow, the need for mom’s focus and presence seems to be more intense (in a different way than during the years when they were all tiny!), which in turn has caused me to pull back from too busy of a midwifery schedule. We also took some time this year for some out-of-the ordinary events such as Joel and I celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary, spending several days at a missions conference in Pittsburgh, a week-long trip to Mexico (visiting missionaries who are part of the ministry Joel works for), several camping/family trips, and then our most recent opportunity: spending 5 weeks in Thailand while Joel attended an international Bible Translation conference and then spent several weeks teaching at a missions training school for young people. This trip was such a rich opportunity and we have returned home with many amazing memories!
When it comes to babies in 2025, there were many sweet little footprints added to the board in the office. While some years include mostly repeat clients, this year I worked with quite a few families for the first time. The smallest baby weighed in at 6#15oz and the largest at 8#15oz, and these newborns ranged from being the first baby in the family to the fifth.
Births weren’t the only aspect of my midwifery work this past year: I also spent time working on renewing my Certified Professional Midwife credential for the 5th time, making this 16 years since I became certified. I was also involved in editing & looking over an exam that another group of midwives is putting together for a certifying agency. This was a great opportunity to brush up on fine details and give input on what is important for newly graduated midwives to be familiar with. I also ended up doing quite a bit of long-distance communication with women who are serving on the mission field or are in areas without midwifery care, so all of these opportunities keep me continually studying and learning so that I can pass on help to others!
As I think about all it takes to provide midwifery care, I want to give a shout-out to the amazing assistants who drop everything at a moment’s notice to come assist me at births! These ladies do so much to make your birth experiences good ones, and I’m thankful to have Lanna, Emily, Janine and others willing to help out. One highlight of this year was when my own daughter Yoanna was invited to join me at a birth. She’s dreamed of training to be an assistant for years, and this was such a delightful experience for her. As we head into the next year, I plan to involve her more, as she has had the opportunity this fall to take a basic Neonatal resuscitation class as well as doing quite a bit of specific study in the field of midwifery. I’ve always hoped that one of my daughter’s might want to join me, and I’m excited about involving her more when it works out.
In closing, just a reminder that you can find quite a few helpful articles and links listed on the Gentle Delivery website, so be sure to check it out. Use the search bar function to look for topics you might need information about, and please feel free to pass these links on to friends! Our summer play date was a huge success, so stay tuned for more of those to happen in 2026 as I hope to get these on a more regular schedule again. If you want to be added to the email list for playgroup invites, send me a message and ask to be added to the list: gentlemidwife@gmail.com. Be sure to add the addresses of any friends who may want to join, as these are not limited to Gentle Delivery clients but are intended to build up the local homebirth community. May each of you have a blessed Christmas season!
Whether you are pregnant with your first or postpartum with your fifth, taking care of your pelvic floor/core muscles is such an important goal! Over the years there have been many new studies done and more insights shown on the importance of a strong pelvic floor and solid core for women during their childbearing years. Taking the time to focus on this part of your body can help to make pregnancy more comfortable, reduce lower back pain, help eliminate the “mummy tummy” that can be so frustrating after growing a baby, prepare your body for future pregnancies, and guard against future challenges such as prolapse & urinary incontinence. When you think about all that your body goes through to grow, nourish, carry and push out a baby, it’s no wonder that these muscles and areas might need some extra focus to help everything function at it’s optimal potential!
It can be confusing to figure out what is right and wrong when it comes to pregnancy and postpartum exercise, and you want to make sure you are helping your body and not causing further trauma or muscle separation. The purpose of this list of resources is to help you get started in finding a program or plan that will work for you and your current situation. I would love to encourage you to try to fit in at least 10 minutes of purposeful exercise in 5 days a week, both during pregnancy and then once you are 8-10 weeks postpartum (you can start slow beginning at 6 weeks, but give your body grace to build up strength!).
And a clarification: these resources are specifically for helping to rebuild core muscle and pelvic floor strength. We’ll focus on other general exercise in another post, but the purpose of this list is to help you wade through some options that specifically focus on rehabilitation of your muscles after pregnancy and birth (or helping to prevent strain to these muscles if you’re currently pregnant!).
If you prefer reading books and having pictures to reference, here are a few helpful titles:
Postpartum Exercise Essentials is a great guide to have ready and available before you give birth. With suggestions on movement and gentle stretches, it helps you to begin rehabilitation during the first 8 weeks following delivery, building a foundation for the rest of the postpartum season.
Training for Two by Gina Conley is a handbook for prenatal exercises, with good info on how the body works and how to make adaptations and care for your body while exercising during pregnancy so as not to cause any harm. While this book focuses more on general pregnancy fitness, the last section focuses specifically on how to rest and then gently build up your body during the postpartum period, with great illustrations and photos.
Mom’s Guide to Diastasis Recti is an easy-to-read short book with photos illustrating about 50 exercises to help rebuild postpartum.
The Core Program this is an older book (easy to find cheap online!) written and complied specifically for women of any age who need to strengthen their core. Best to wait until after 6-8 weeks postpartum to begin this one!
DVD or online options:
Spinning Babies Daily Essentials Here’s a blog post with excellent exercise suggestions and other recommendations for maximizing positioning and alignment during pregnancy.
Trim Healthy Mama Workins You can find DVD’s on eBay, but this exercise program is now available online with subscription. Good foundational 20 minute exercise sessions with modifications for pregnancy and postpartum with excellent focus on pelvic floor and diastasis health.
Down There for Women by Katy Bowman (DVD, can sometimes find used copies for cheap!) Produced specifically to help women experiencing pelvic floor issues such as prolapse, incontinence, postpartum rehab, etc.
Finally, here are some suggestions that come by recommendation from other midwives-but I haven’t personally used or watched these. So I would love to hear about your experience if you if you choose to try one or more of these options!
As the end of 2023 approaches, it’s once again time to remember the blessings and challenges of another year, and give you all a little update on the work of Gentle Delivery Midwifery. I’m always grateful to look back and remember the families I was privileged to work with and the babies I was able to meet. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your lives in such a special way!
I know many of you find it interesting to hear some of the stats from the year, so here’s a few for those of you who enjoy such things. I’m anticipating at least one more baby for 2023, but as of now the smallest baby was 6# 8oz, and the largest was 10#12oz. Quite a variation of normal, isn’t it?!? Around 60% of these babies were born in water, and ranged from arriving around a week and a half early to 13 days late. Most of the families I worked with this year were new to Gentle Delivery, though I served three families for the 3rd time and one family for the 4th, which is extra special! I was also happy to help a number of families with questions, consults, and involvement during pregnancy and birth both in person and virtually…assisting families in networking with other providers, supporting previous client families that have relocated and providing consult help to families with specific questions or concerns has been an additional focus of my midwifery work this year.
I had a variety of assistants at births depending on location, availability and circumstances. Between Christine, Lanna, Emily and Denae, I was thankful for great addition to the birth teams, and all the help these ladies give. For those delivering in early months of the New Year, I’m excited to introduce you to Natasha Yoder, a midwifery student/assistant who plans to come help me for a few weeks as Christine is expecting a baby of her own in January.
Besides staying busy helping with babies arriving in other families, we were grateful to welcome another baby of our own. Shekinah Glory joined our family on March 24, after a short but intense labor. She was also born in the water, and her sisters were present along with our midwife and birth team. Nursing was quite the journey once again, and we ended up making the drive to Albany, NY to have Dr. Kotlow revise her tongue & lip ties with laser. After a few intense weeks of monitoring weight gain, pumping/feeding, and all the stress this adds to the initial adjustments, we were SO thankful to have the procedure work effectively. She has since gained weight quickly, absolutely loves nursing, and refuses to take either a pacifier or bottle! Thankfully she has plenty of older siblings who are always happy to have a turn helping with baby sister, and now that she is 8 months old it feels like we are finally figuring out a rhythm to family life once again. I think we learn more with each new baby, and this time we purposefully booked a long break from births in order to have the much-needed time to recover, adjust and enjoy the newborn stage without extra pressure or demands.
Continuing education classes were another focus for this year: attending the GOLD midwifery conference virtually was helpful, and I was especially happy to once again take the Breech Without Borders intensive class. This includes online lectures as well as over 8 hours of in-person instruction and training, and is so valuable in enabling families to have more options when it comes to safe breech birth. Though I’m still happy if babies want to come head first instead of making me put these skills into practice too often.
I can’t finish without once again expressing my thanks to my own husband and children who truly make my midwifery involvement a family ministry. Whether it’s changing plans at a moment’s notice, babysitting, holding schedules loosely, taking care of supper prep or all the other factors, it has been a blessing to have their support and encouragement. It can sometimes feel like a constant juggling act to balance midwifery with the family, church and ministry responsibilities that our family is involved in! My oldest daughter has been an amazing help this fall, coming along to babysit Shekinah during births so baby could nurse as needed while I could continue to focus on providing care.
As we head into 2024, it looks like there may be some changes on the horizon. While none of our plans have been finalized, it’s possible that our family may relocate to the Philipsburg area sometime this next summer. This has the potential of changing some of my availability, though at this point I would still consider State College to be within my care radius. Keep tabs on the website or Facebook page, as I’ll make sure to post updates if this happens! I’m hoping to see more of you this next year, too, as my goal is to resume seasonal playdates beginning this winter, so stay tuned for an announcement.
Blessings to each of you in the New Year! ~Kelsey Martin @ Gentle Delivery Midwifery
It’s hard to believe another year is almost completed! As we head towards the New Year, I wanted to take a few minutes to update you all on happenings here at Gentle Delivery, as well as thank each of you for your continued support. Whether it’s returning clients, new clients, supportive local services (lactation consultants, medical teams, ultrasound technicians, etc.), back-up midwives, students or assistants, I am blessed to be part of the local midwifery community, and I’ve been grateful to see the way this community works together!
So far in 2022 I’ve been privileged to assist in welcoming 15 babies, most of whom were little girls. Several of these were born to first-time mamas, and once again I was amazed, humbled and stretched throughout the experiences of assisting these families with the unique challenges and victories that accompany the unknown journey of becoming parents for the first time. Besides the first time babies, the rest ranged from being sibling #2 to sibling #8 for their families, and I had the special privilege of attending 3 moms for the 3rd time. Seeing children that I remember catching as tiny babies become big siblings is a fun perk that comes from providing ongoing care for client families! The smallest baby this year was 6# 4oz, and so far 8# 14oz was the biggest, with one more baby pending who could change these statistics!
Lanna and Christine, my usual assistants during 2022
The teamwork of our community stood out to me in greater ways throughout the pregnancies and births this past year. Over and over again I have been thankful for good working relationships both with other midwives and the medical community—which is such a key factor for providing sustainable, safe midwifery care options. There were times this year where additional medical help was needed in order to provide us with the ultimate goal of having a healthy mom & baby, which made me especially grateful for several MFM’s and CNM’s willing to provide consultations, input & care for clients as well as for a welcoming hospital environment when complications necessitated a transfer of care. Along the lines of providing good care options, it was exciting to add the services of a diagnostic ultrasound tech who has been able to regularly perform scans right in my office!
Birth teams have varied this year depending on availability of different assistants & midwives, but each one of these ladies have added to the birth experiences and help me in so many different ways, bringing their own special support and care to births. There are many behind-the-scenes details that these women take care of, besides their willingness to drop whatever they have going on to come help me in any way they can at any hour of the day or night, and I couldn’t continue to provide midwifery services without them! Due to a family emergency for one local midwife, I ended up covering at various times for her over the year, and catching several babies while she needed to be out-of-state. While I know it can be disappointing to not have your expected team for your birth, it was also a blessing for these families to still be able to continue with their homebirth plans despite the need for the original midwife to attend to important family needs. Along similar lines, I was very thankful for midwives willing to cover for me so that I could spend a few weekends away with my family, both for vacation and a family wedding. The strain of on-call life is challenging (especially with young children!), and being able to rest knowing that your clients are in competent hands while you take a break is a huge factor in maintaining a sustainable midwifery practice!
Denae, a midwife in Philipsburg who assisted and covered for meEmily, a local birth assistant who helped me out a number of times when I was in a pinchHannah, a midwife who covered for me and assisted with births & appointments…and Christine, my faithful assistant this past year
In closing, I also wish to express my thankfulness to my supportive family. The way they pray for me when I’m at births, pick up the slack when mama needs to rest or is away, and adjust their lives and schedule is such a vital part of midwifery work, and it really is a family effort. Also, I realize that none of this could happen without God’s continued blessing, provision and care. As we head into 2023, my children are very excited about the addition of a baby sister arriving in early spring, Lord-willing. I’ll be taking a few months off for maternity leave, and trying to put into practice the things I tell all of you about rest and recovery postpartum! Blessings to each of you in the New Year!
The photo we sent to our families, to let them know baby #6 was on the way!
As I think back over this past year, it is with a sense of gratefulness for the ways that God has led, protected and provided. 2021 has included more complications, challenges and adrenaline rushes than I’ve ever had in one year’s time since I began practicing as a midwife 12 years ago! The additional gray hairs accumulated over the months prove this, and I am ending the year feeling like I’ve gained a level of experience that I honestly wouldn’t have minded doing without. However, I’ve also been reminded that this is WHY a midwife takes training seriously, and I’m more committed than ever to doing my best to assist families in safe births, even when at times this requires a different birth location than what we had hoped for, or more invasive assistance than what I prefer to provide.
Besides being the most intense year complication-wise and the most stressful year when it comes to constant changes & research due to the ever-changing Covid landscape, it was also my busiest year baby-wise! I had the honor of helping to welcome 6 girls and 11 boys by the time the last December babies arrived. Weight ranges were fairly average: smallest was 6#8oz and the biggest was 9#9oz. While a couple of little ones came a week or two early, most typically went on the later side with two babies waiting until 13 days past their due date. Three babies made child #6 for their families, and two boys were the first ones for their families. While there were several long labors and many hours spent with a family before the birth, one little guy was in a big enough hurry that he made his appearance in his home before I did! As usual, birth always has an element of surprise that keeps us all on our toes.
Lynelle, Myself & Lanna
I was blessed to work with several great assistants this year! These ladies really help to lift my load, and add a lot to our team. After assisting with births throughout the past 6 years, Lynelle is sensing a need to step back for a time, so she won’t be seen as frequently in the next year. Lanna began helping this spring at the height of our busy season, and has been such a blessing! She will continue to assist as her schedule allows, and there’s the potential of another assistant joining the team in the near future. I’ve also been grateful for the continued help of the midwifery community here in central PA: other assistants and midwives have been willing to fill in as needed, and I’m thankful to have had help available whenever I’ve needed an extra set of hands or someone to cover for a trip or emergency. I was especially thankful for RoseMarie’s willingness to cover for me this fall when our family had COVID, and I was thankful for the baby who so beautifully cooperated in waiting to arrive until I was recovered and my family was past quarantine!
Guerrero, Mexico Summer 2021
On the home front, my little family is growing and doing well! In spite of lots of babies and the craziness this adds to our calendar, we were thankful to get to spend some time camping over the summer, as well as taking a family trip to Mexico to visit missionaries serving with the organization my husband works for. I couldn’t serve as a midwife without the amazing support of my husband Joel, who graciously steps in to care for everyone when mama disappears at a moment’s notice. With children ranging in age from almost 2 to 10, life at home is always exciting and active, and my girls can’t wait until THEY are old enough to “help mama at births”.
A big thank you to each one of you who have trusted me to support you as you navigated your pregnancies and deliveries—it is something I count a privilege and honor! I love to hear from families, so please feel free to send an update and picture when you have a chance!
Many blessings as you head into the New Year,
Kelsey Martin & Gentle Delivery Midwifery Services
Be sure to check out the blog and Facebook page to stay updated on current news, helpful information, health suggestions, birth stories, and announcement of special events such as playdates!
As we enter into the Christmas season again, I have to think about the year we were anticipating our own Christmas baby, and what a delightful time of year it was to cozy up inside with a newborn! Our little Tirzah had quite the dramatic entrance into the world, and it almost makes me laugh every time I recount it…
By the time I was expecting my fifth baby, I knew to expect lots of contractions and discomfort, and this pregnancy was no exception. Thankfully my blood pressure was staying within normal limits, and everything else was proceeding smoothly. But after several nights with contractions and signs that labor could be imminent, I was getting TIRED. Once you loose that much sleep and feel heavy and uncomfortable all the time, you start to wonder how on earth you are going to make it through labor yet! One night I was pretty sure it was the “real deal”, after being up for hours with regular contractions, only to find everything stopped once the birth team was here and the pool was filled! Funny that it took the fifth child to experience that “false run”, but after not calling the midwife soon enough last time, we were trying to not repeat that scenario—only to send everyone home after a couple of hours!
My previous baby had come after an extremely intense labor, and I was trying hard to not allow fear to overcome my anticipation of this birth. Lynelle, my good friend and birth assistant, had told me that I really should try the birth pool this time around, and even offered to take care of all the set up and prep to make that happen. So we had set up the pool in the office, and had everything ready to go, and I was really hopeful that it would make a difference in the intensity, especially at the end.
Everything set up and ready go for round #1!
Fast forward a couple of days: after getting a good night’s sleep, I woke up on Saturday feeling like this baby needed to be encouraged to come. I’ve taken Castor Oil before, but every time I thought about that option it made me want to puke. So I figured there had to be an alternative: enter the Midwives Brew! I had read about this recipe (used often by European Midwives), but had always figured that the small amount of castor oil combined with the other strange ingredients wouldn’t actually be effective. But by this point I was willing to at least TRY it and see! My husband was on board (he was ready to see me up at night nursing a baby instead of up at night with contractions!), but I warned him that I really didn’t think it would work.
Mid-morning, I took my youngest for a little “mommy date”, and we headed to Wegman’s for a few groceries and the ingredients for the brew (see this post to find out what those are!). I had fun picking out a few things that I thought would sound good to eat or drink IF I was in labor later on, and we had a pleasant little outing. Once I returned home it was about lunch time, so while Joel fixed lunch, I blended up the brew, and sipped it down before eating a little lunch. While not the best flavor I’ve ever tasted, it wasn’t nearly as bad as downing large amounts of castor oil in juice!! My stomach felt a little funny, but eating some food and then chewing some gum seemed to settle things.
strange blend of ingredients!
This was the weekend that one of our little local Victorian towns always holds an event called “A Victorian Christmas”. That event combined with the opening of an exhibit of an Underground Railroad station in one of the museums there had made me want to take the children out for awhile if we were still waiting on a baby over that time. Since Joel had a Bible Study planned at our house for the afternoon, it felt like a great opportunity to take out the older children for some educational distraction and let me get a chance to think about something other than baby waiting! Since all I had been experiencing for two hours was some minor stomach discomfort, I decided to head out around 2:30pm, despite my husband’s slight misgivings. Laughingly I joked with him that if I called him he’d better answer the phone, as it might mean I needed him to come pick me up!
Bellefonte is about 10 min from our house, and we parked and went through the historical museum, only to find out that it did not contain the Underground Railroad Exhibit like I had thought. The curator pointed us up the road about half a block to the right museum, and the children and I headed that direction. Right as we hit the steps (around 3:30pm), I felt a slight “pop” and had a thought that perhaps my water had broken. But I wasn’t sure, and decided since we were RIGHT THERE we might as well go in. I felt a bit of dismay when the museum volunteer cheerily told us that the exhibit was on the top floor…UP THREE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!! We started up the stairs when I felt my first real contraction, and I immediately thought that we’d better not stay long. The children were oblivious, of course, and thoroughly enjoyed exploring, while I tried to act like nothing was amiss as the contractions quickly started getting stronger and harder. I hurried them through the exhibit and back down the stairs, stopping briefly in the bathroom where I confirmed that indeed my water had broken. As we headed outside, my children excitedly discussed the next place we would go…and I seriously informed them that we needed to get home NOW. They looked at me puzzled, and I told them I thought baby sister was going to be coming, to which my 6 year old son replied “how do you know? Your water hasn’t broken yet, has it?”. That made me laugh in spite of the situation, and when I told him it HAD, they all got really serious!
The half-block walk back to the car seemed to take forever, as the contractions were definitely picking up in speed and intensity. Once we pulled out and started on the road, I called Joel. The first time he didn’t answer, but then when the phone rang the second time he figured he’d better pick up! I told him that labor had begun, and to please have all the Bible study men out of the house by the time I got home and figure out where the boys were supposed to go…and to pray I could drive home safely! Next I called my friend Lynelle, as I knew that she would need to get a babysitter for her children, and I really wanted her free to get the pool started if things continued. Once I was finished with this phone call I knew I couldn’t make any more calls and drive, as things were just too intense. It was all I could do to stay focused on driving! I kept praying a policeman wouldn’t pull me over, as I had no bandwidth to explain why I was headed home instead of to the hospital!
I reached home, and our friend Daniel had his van running so he could pull out with the boys as soon as I arrived with Matthias. I pulled in the garage around 4:20, and had a massive contraction that made me unable to even get out of the vehicle. I heard Joel on the phone—he had called our midwife to see if I had called her yet (I hadn’t!! She was next, but I couldn’t make another call after I talked with Lynelle!), and she said she’d be on her way. I still remember running inside to the bathroom, trying to focus on relaxing, and coming to grips with the fact that at this rate I would not be having a water birth, then Joel calling through the door “the pool is warm and half way filled if you want to get in!!” He had so sweetly started filling the pool, turning on the music, and getting things ready the minute I called home! I told him he’d better call Lynelle and Priscilla (our friend who was going to come help with our girls and take pictures), and they’d better hurry, and I still remember the relief of settling into the warm pool.
Just a minute or so old! Pink all over except for her slightly bruised face which was caused by her speedy birth!
Once I got in the water, the intensity and closeness of the contractions subsided, and I had a chance in between to catch up Joel on all that had transpired. Lynelle and Priscilla don’t live far, and arrived within a few minutes, and I still remember us all laughing in between contractions as the craziness of how fast things were happening! It wasn’t long before I felt the pressure of Tirzah’s head descending, and Lynelle was ready to help in anyway she could. Priscilla called our girls in, and they all clustered around the pool, quiet with excitement and anticipation. This time around I didn’t want anyone to touch me (other than squeezing Joel’s hand!), and I have never experienced the awareness during pushing as I did with this birth. It was an incredible experience to actually breathe her out and catch her myself—something I don’t think I could have done without the help of the water! I pulled her up to my chest, she cried right away, and we settled back in the warm water, both amazed at all that had happened. It was 4:42pm, only 20 minutes after I had arrived home!!
Sisters!
My girls were so delighted to help welcome their little sister, and their eyes shown as they stroked her head, and I thoroughly enjoyed the chance to sit back and relax and catch my breath. Being in the warm water seemed to decrease my usual after-birth shakes, and we had a long chance to connect and rest. Rose Marie arrived about 20 min later, and since I hadn’t delivered the placenta yet, daddy and the girls took baby sister to the other room while I transitioned to the birth stool where the placenta came easily. I was feeling good enough (and minimal blood loss!) that I showered quickly, and then cozied up on the couch while our midwife and friends did all the baby checks, and Joel popped a pizza into the oven. Eventually Priscilla went to bring the boys home to meet their sister, and we had a lovely evening rejoicing in our new gift. I had never had a daytime baby, and I couldn’t believe how good I felt and how I was hardly even tired! After everyone had some supper and everything was cleaned up and taken care of, I took our new baby upstairs, and we cuddled up together for the night-so thankful for the amazing experience, and still in a bit of unbelief!
If you’ve followed my blog for long, you’ll know that tongue & lip ties and nursing challenges are a passion of mine, especially after having experienced challenges with all of these factors with several of my own children. I’ve also been in contact with many moms who are struggling with nursing issues or fussy babies, and so many times there is a connection to either a tongue or lip tie (or both!). Recently, a mom shared her story in a Facebook Group for Moms that I’m part of. Her story touches on so many of the factors that I have seen and/or experienced, that I contacted her and asked for her permission to share her post with you all. I am so grateful, as Tanisha covers many factors to consider in her story, and I think it will be beneficial for many moms who might be struggling. If you are struggling with nursing issues, I really want to encourage you that you aren’t alone, and that there are answers out there!! And if you resonate with this story, I would love to hear about your experiences! It can help other moms when they can hear first-hand what worked for others in similar situations.
~Kelsey
Now on to our guest post, written earlier this year by Tanisha Gingerich:
**Shared by the author’s permission**
I thought I’d make a post for whoever it might concern, about our journey sofar with tongue and lip ties. They are becoming increasingly common it seems, and I thought sharing my experience might be a good way to bring awareness so that any other moms going thru something similar can benefit from (or add to) what I’ve been learning.
A week post partum, I was scabbed from nursing, and in a lot of pain every time I fed Micoma. She was gaining well, so we probably could have made it work (a lactation consultant can help you and baby work past a multitude of feeding problems), but I knew from experience that although I could “make it work,” my milk supply was going to tank around 4-6 months. Ties can also cause speech, dental, and sleep issues down the road, along with a host of other problems.
So in the interest of short-term pain for the long-term good, I took Micoma in at a week old for a consultation and ended up getting her lip and tongue ties lasered right away so we could begin the healing and retraining process as soon as possible before bad nursing habits were formed.
I cried and prayed over her before they did the 3 minute procedure, and sobbed compulsively while they swaddled her and used a laser to cut the ties open. The woman doing the procedure was a mom too, and was so compassionate and kind with Micoma. Then they left us alone in a cozy room to nurse, and I heaved more sobs as I comforted my baby. Being able to hold and nurse her was probably just as healing for me as it was for her.
Her latch was instantly better. Over the next few days I had to continually remind myself of the long term good, as I did stretches on her wounds. To my relief, the stretches were done in under 30 seconds, and Micoma always recovered quickly… I soon realized she was screaming louder over getting her diaper changed than she was over the oral invasion, so that made me feel better. I told her all the time how brave she was, and gave her every comfort to guide her through the rough patch.
That first week dragged on for me. I hated having to keep stretches in my mind every 4-6 hours even thru the night—got kind of sick with dread thinking about it. I kept Micoma on Tylenol the first 2 days, and again on day 4 when there was a flare up of discomfort. Other than that though, she continued to eat and sleep very normally (not everyone has it so easy, some babies will hardly eat for a day or two, and cry all the time. Thankfully Micoma nursed for comfort, and seemed to tolerate gracefully any discomfort she was feeling). At one week we had a follow up appointment and they said everything was healing well and there was no reattachment. I was so relieved.
By the second week all was routine, and the scars were nearly healed up. Sometimes she wouldn’t even wake up when I did the stretches so I knew they weren’t painful. Currently we have just passed the 3 week mark, which means I can de-escalate the stretches rapidly and they will disappear in a few days. Hooray! One hurdle over. Now on to the next. I had a lactation consultant come at week 3, to help me teach Micoma new nursing/sucking habits. I learned so much!
First of all, babies begin practicing how to suck from week 12 in utero. This is how they build the oral strength they need for nursing. Unfortunately, when a part of their tongue is tied down, they are unable to fully lift and tone those muscles. When they are born and begin nursing, the restrictions to their lip and or/tongue, make it hard or impossible for them to latch correctly or suck efficiently. As a result, nursing is laborious for them. You may hear a “clicking” noise or notice milk dribbling out the sides of their mouth, these are telltale signs. They frequently fall asleep while nursing, just from the strain it, and are unable to properly empty the breast. This can obviously cause low-weight issues, milk supply issues, and severe frustration to the baby. The baby will often resort to chomping or some other measure in an attempt to get milk, resulting it a lot of discomfort or pain for the mom.
But even after ties are released, there is still some work to do. Baby’s latch will probably be better right away, but you’ll need to help hertone her oral muscles and relearn how to suck correctly with the new range of motion in her mouth. I was given a series of simple tongue exercises to do with Micoma every day… they are more like games, and activate her reflexes to get her tongue moving, especially in the places she’s not used to lifting it.
Now, to back up a bit, there are two kinds of ties—lip ties and tongue ties. I’ve also heard of buchal ties (cheeks) but know very little about them at this point. A lip tie is easiest to spot (example of one in comments) and if a lip tie is present, a tongue tie is almost always present too—they tend to go hand in hand. Keep in mind that some care providers are not trained to look for *posterior* tongue ties (these are in the back of the mouth and not as obvious as anterior ones), so those often get missed. Ties vary in severity (where they are attached and how drastically they are affecting function of the lip/tongue. Sometimes it may be negligible).
Next thing I learned, tongue tied babies are notoriously “tight.” The tongue sits at the very top of the spine, and if there are restrictions in the tongue, you will see restrictions all the way down through the body. Sure enough, Micoma is very tight in her shoulder/neck area, has over compensated for it in her lower back, and has tight hips. Once again, I was given a series of simple rhythmic motions and stretches to loosen those areas up and bring everything into alignment. She has a bit of a “C” shape curve when she lies down, that’s another common sign of tongue-tie related tightness. (Pic in comments) I wish I would have known this with my oldest daughter Verona. She was incredibly C-shaped, and these stretches would have loosened up her uncomfortably tight muscles.
Looking back, both of my children before Micoma had ties of some kind. I always had to use a nipple shield with Verona, and I remember Benny getting so angry when I nursed him. My supply going down around 4 months was another telltale sign. Both children despised tummy time, which was most likely because of how tight they were in their neck and lower back. I suspect “ties” is some of why they slept so poorly and aggravated colic symptoms early on… In-efficient nursing brings more air into the stomach and causes gas discomfort/excessive spitting up. And in a very strange twist of fate, if the tongue cannot reach up to the top of the pallet and rest there while sleeping, the top of the mouth becomes domed, crowding teeth and restricting airway. This can lead to mouth breathing, sleep apnea, and dental issues.
Verona’s lip tie comes all the way down between her teeth, which is why she has a gap between her front teeth. Neither of the children seem to be having difficulty eating, speaking, or maintaining good dental hygiene and structure other than that. So I’ll just keep an eye on them, and only resort to doing anything about theirs at this point if I see it’s going to cause them major problems down the road. But I do grieve the suffering we all went thru with months of screaming colicky baby, and the eventual loss of breastfeeding bond. That pain far surpasses whatever me and Micoma went through the last month in laser-correction and recovery.
So for that reason, I would support moms in pursuing tie-releases if you feel it would be beneficial for your baby. As with everything child-related, there is controversy surrounding the issue—whether ties are really a thing, whether they’re a big deal, clipping or lasering, stretches or no stretches. In my case, I saw enough consequences in my last 2 children that I was willing to believe ties affect quality of life enough to warrant a minor surgery. Lasering has a lower rate of re-attachment and requires no stitches, so I went that route. And the stretches I did because Micoma tolerated them well and I was determined not to let the fibers re-attach while they were healing… and I grilled my caretaker about whether it was necessary, and she says she does see a fairly high rate of reattachment if stretches are not done. Albeit, I did the bare minimum I thought I could be get by with, and with good results. That was my story, you get to write your own. Decide what’s best for your child, whether that’s therapy to work past a tie, or a surgery to correct it, or whatever and don’t let people throw a lot of shame or fear onto you for it.
Currently I am pumping a few times a day and using an SNS (supplemental nursing system) several times a day to stimulate my supply and simultaneously get Micoma the extra food she sometimes can’t get herself. I’ll keep working with Micoma’s body and tongue to get everything loosened up and toned… hopefully within a month we’ll be at a place where she can keep my supply up on her own. In the mean time we’re not goning to go many places this month, just stay home and focus on the task at hand.
Many people take their children to chiropractors pre and/or post tie release for body work. It helps with nursing if your baby is aligned properly. For the time being, since I have bodywork I can do at home with her, I am skipping that… see if I can get by without it. Cranial Sacral therapy is another thing highly recommended… I don’t know, it could possibly be a legitimate thing with babies since their skulls are still un-fused and somewhat mobile, but I have heard of enough occultist ties connected to this practice done in adults that I plan to avoid it all together.
This post was not meant to diagnose or treat any illness. It’s my personal story and some things I learned along the way, left here for people to sift thru and take whatever is for them.
If, btw, you decide lasering is the right option for you (and you are local to central PA), I had a good experience with Dr. Katherman in York. Her office felt like such a warm and caring place to me, and she was on call at all hours if I had questions later. Also, do yourself a favor and hire a lactation consultant. You won’t regret it! Do a bit of research first and find one that people you know have had good experiences with (there are a few bad eggs out there). Again, I had a wonderful experience with the one I found, and I’ll link her website for reference.
The cost to get two ties lasered was $750. I am going to turn it into my insurance sharing plan, but I do not know yet if they will cover it. The lactation consultant fee for an hour and a half session was $175. So it is a good chunk of change. But when compared to the potential costs of not doing it, it is a very reasonable investment.
I hope that’s everything. My mind is still kind of whirling from all the things I’m learning, so this was my way of processing it. Hoping it will be helpful to someone else.
P.S. Out of curiosity, I asked both the doctor and lactation consultant if ties have become more common recently or if they’re just being diagnosed more, so we’re more aware of them. They both said ties are becoming increasingly common. I don’t think even my mom’s generation would have seen very many, so this seems to be a rapidly developing problem. Presumably, Western diet and lifestyle as well as the declining quality of foods (grown from nutrient-depleted soils) plays a role. There seems to be evidence to support that lack of folate and other B vitamins in the early stages of embryonic development contributes to ties forming—or the presence of the synthetic B vitamin folic acid commonly in prenatals and fortified foods. And others say there are indications that genetic mutations (the MTHFR gene) play a role. But no definitive studies have been done, that I know of. Everything is speculation at this point. Someone gave me two articles so I’m linking them below. My midwife gave me some resources to dig into and I’m hoping to do more research to see if this plague is avoidable.
I maintain a decently healthy diet and take quality supplements including methylated B vitamins so it’s hard to believe that was the cause of all 3 children having ties. Except that I was under exponential stress the past few years, and as I understand it B vitamins are created in the gut… if you have bad gut health or are under stress, B vitamins do not form well. So that could be a factor. Like I said, I’m going to keep digging and see what answers I can find.
The first few hours, days and weeks after having a baby are special times to treasure as you recover from birth, transition to mothering baby from the outside, and spend time bonding and adjusting. Being adequately prepared ahead of time can make a key difference in helping postpartum to flow smoothly and successfully. Here are a few tips to consider as you prepare and plan for AFTER baby arrives. Remember that adequate rest, low stress, nourishing food, good support and planning ahead will help you to heal and promote a better overall experience for baby’s first few weeks. It’s important for your physical & mental health to take recovery seriously, and provide your body with the things it needs to continue nourishing a baby while recovering from the demands of pregnancy & birth. You won’t regret being adequately prepared!
Before the Birth:
Consider your support system. Do you have a close friend or family member that would be willing to be a resource to answer questions, let you talk with when you’re feeling low emotionally, or just need a listening ear? Is there someone you can trust and feel comfortable with who could come into your home to help care for the household (especially if there are other children) for a few days or weeks so that you can adequately rest and recover? Is Daddy able to take some extended time off of work? How does support look to you? Do you have some babysitting options?
Meal Planning: consider having some wholesome family favorites stocked in the freezer so you don’t need to think about cooking. Does your church or support group have a plan for after-baby meals? Do you need to reach out to someone to coordinate this? Would you have a friend willing to start a “meal train” after your birth? And just a note to Gentle Delivery clients: if an online “meal train” is something that would bless you, your midwife is very glad to start this after your baby arrives!
Consider stocking up on disposable plates, cups, silverware, etc. in order to simplify clean up and household chores.
Shopping (consider the below suggestions, and try to have these things together before your baby is due):
Immediate Postpartum (first hours after birth)– have these things handy in a basket or box for immediately after delivery.
Newborn Diapers & Baby Wipes
Preferred first outfit for baby, along with a swaddle blanket, socks and hat.
“Adult Diapers” or Depends (or whatever type of pad you prefer for heavier postpartum bleeding).
Comfortable Nightgown or Pajamas that are nursing accessible and easily work for skin-to-skin contact with baby.
Pre-made “padsicles” or perineal ice-packs and/or an herbal healing spray such as this one from MotherLove.
Heating pad or rice sock to help with sore muscles and after-pains.
Rhoid Balm, Tucks or other soothing support for hemorrhoids.
Large Water bottle that is easy to use, to remind & encourage you to drink lots of fluids!
Nourishing foods, drinks and snacks (think bone broth, energy bites, juice, etc.).
First Few Days–since you’ll be resting and nursing and taking it easy the first few days, you’ll want to consider having some of these items purchased ahead of time, and ready to be used during the initial few days after baby arrives, in addition to the items above (which you’ll continue using throughout the first few days/weeks).
Comfortable nursing-accessible clothes and nursing bras (remember that you may go through multiple changes of clothes due to leaking milk, bleeding and/or baby messes!). Comfort is key, since you will be resting and sleeping whenever possible.
Belly Support Binder (can use a Rebozo or scarf, or you can purchase something like Belly Bandit or MamaStrut).
If you have experienced challenges with milk supply, have supplements such as MaxiMilk or Legendairy products available to start once your milk begins to come in.
Stool Softener or Magnesium to help the first stools pass easier.
Pads/period underwear for a lighter flow (be sure to check out non-toxic options such as these JewelPads).
A journal or baby book to jot down thoughts and memories.
Something to read or do as you spend hours nursing your baby!
And finally, feel free to print/download and post this list of visitor guidelines to aid you in navigating the stress and joy of baby visits during those first days!
As I write this, I’m sitting here nursing my fifth child who will be 7 weeks old tomorrow. My experience with nursing and milk supply has been different with each child, as you may know if you’ve read this blog over the years. All of my babies have had issues with tongue and lip-ties, some of which were quickly resolved, and others where that wasn’t the case. One nursed well and gained quickly, another nursed okay, but I had to be very careful as my supply would tank quickly if I was extra busy or exercised much. Both of my boys struggled for months, with both of them needing to be supplemented and then fully bottle-fed by around 4-6 months (you can read about their stories and some of the things I learned and experienced here and here). With both of them, the challenges of poor nursing/latch also resulted in really low supply on my part. Those days were so long & discouraging. If you’re in the position of facing lots of challenges with feeding your baby, I totally get you!
So in preparing for baby #5, I had no idea what to expect. I did know I wanted to be prepared for lots of challenges just in case. We were also planning to do a significant amount of traveling when baby was still very young, and I wanted to make sure to have things on hand to boost my supply if it was needed, as I’ve learned from experience that it is MUCH easier to encourage a robust milk supply if you don’t let it drop too far to begin with! Before baby Tirzah was born, I spent some time researching additional options to add to my list of things to help boost supply.
This experience has been different yet! The first few weeks found baby gaining really slowly (she lost a pound after birth, and took three weeks to regain it!), which of course had me worried after everything that happened with my previous baby. But around 3 weeks old, things began to shift, and her suck got stronger and she began to gain weight! By now, at 7 weeks, she is a healthy, chunky 11 pounds, which means she has put on 2 pounds in just over 2 weeks! I thought perhaps there might be some other moms out there looking for ways to increase and improve their milk supply, so I’m going to share some of my favorite suggestions…some of these I found helpful when I was exclusively pumping for baby #4, and they have gone on to be helpful this time around.
If you are needing to establish or boost supply, your first step is to nurse frequently!! Lots of skin-to-skin time, especially in those first weeks, really helps to establish that supply, as well as nursing whenever baby is interested and for however long (and make sure the don’t go longer than 3 hours during the night those first few weeks!). Next, remember to drink lots of fluids. I would keep a water bottle at my bedside so that I would drink throughout the night (along with a snack!), which I continued to do until I was confident that my supply was adequate. Throughout the day make sure to keep drinking large amounts, as it really helps your body as it manufactures milk for that little one! And don’t forget that your body needs lots of nourishing calories to feed a second person-remember that your baby is still depending upon you for all of his/her nutrition, and baby is now bigger (and growing rapidly!), so now is not the time to cut back or diet. You actually need an additional 500 calories than what you needed while pregnant!
Besides these three things, here are some other supplements that I have found really give my milk production a boost (and just a side note, these are NOT affiliate links, so I’m not benefiting in any way by suggesting these!):
Maxi-Milk by Mountain Meadow Herbs has been one of my favorite supplements over the years. I began taking it twice a day around day 3 postpartum this time, just to give my body a boost since baby was loosing weight and I wanted to get my milk supply off to a good start as it started coming in. This is the one supplement I have always kept on hand after each baby, and any time I feel my supply dropping, I start taking it, and can see a difference within 24 hours. It’s especially helpful during those days when baby has a growth spurt and wants to eat all the time, and you can feel your body struggling to keep up with baby’s demands!
Legendairy Prouducts offers several different supplements for helping build and maintain milk supply. I had heard about them in the past year, and had them recommended to me by other moms who had tried them. I knew I would be dealing with more stress and less sleep while traveling with such a young baby this time around, so I started adding the “Liquid Gold” supplements to my daily routine. I’m now trying the “Cash Cow”, and both seem to be helpful! I was especially intrigued by their formulas and the lack of fenugreek, as my babies tend to have very sensitive tummies, and have not always done well with the traditional high-fenugreek content of other supplements.
Moringa is a green super-food type supplement, that has been used for a variety of health reasons, but has a history of helping to encourage milk production. Check out the link to find out more about it! I take it each morning at breakfast.
Spirulina is similar to Moringa, and is recommended for boosting supply and the nutrition-density of mom’s milk. This is the first time I’ve tried taking it regularly for this purpose, but it’s one of those supplements that has so many benefits that it sure can’t hurt to add it to a new mom’s daily regimen! Once again, click on the link to find out more of it’s benefits.
When it comes to adding some nutrient-dense calories, AND keeping good, quick snacks on hand for a hungry (and busy!) nursing moms, these two recipes below are my favorites. They include such things as nutritional yeast, oatmeal (oatmeal is an old-time favorite to boost milk supply!), flax-meal, coconut oil, and other great ingredients to feed and nourish a new mom and baby. The first recipe is one that my mother-in-law perfected during the year I was trying desperately to increase my milk supply for my little guy who had so many nursing issues. They are super yummy while also having great ingredients. When I was exclusively pumping, I could see first-hand how these helped to keep my supply up! The second recipe is a variation of a granola bar that a friend brought to me after I had my third child-ever since then, I always make a big batch of these around the time baby is due, as it is a wonderful snack to have on hand for those first weeks of nursing round the clock (I keep one beside my bed for nighttime feedings during the first few weeks!).
Grandma Martin’s Lactation Cookies
1&1/2 sticks softened butter
4 TBSP coconut oil
1 & 1/2 cups organic sugar (I use coconut sugar)
5 TBSP Brewers Yeast
3 TBSP ground flaxseed (golden tastes the best!)
2 eggs
2 tsp Vanilla
1/2 tsp EACH salt, baking powder and soda, cinnamon
1 TBSP ground Fennel seed
1tsp ground Fenugreek (I grind these 2 together in coffee grinder)
1 & 1/2 cups flour (for Gluten Free cookies use 1/2 cup each of brown rice flour & whole oat flour and 1/2 cup of another flour)
3 cups rolled oats
1 cup coconut
Chocolate chips or raisins as desired.
Roll into balls, place on ungreased baking sheet. Bake at 350 for about 10 minutes. Makes 3 dozen. These freeze well, and taste delicious frozen!
Energy Bars/Balls
1 cup warmed honey
1 cup natural peanut butter (or almond butter)
½ cup oat bran (or oatmeal ground really fine)
1/2 cup golden flax meal
1 cup unsweetened coconut
1/3 cup seeds (sunflower, chia, etc.)
1 c. chopped nuts (I like to use a blend of mixed nuts, though just almonds or pecans work as well)
1/2 tsp Celtic or Himalayan Pink salt
2 + cups old fashioned oats (enough to make mixture thick enough to form balls or press)
1 cup chocolate chips
Mix all together and form into balls or press into a pan to form bars, refrigerate until firm. I like to cut these into bars and wrap them individually for a quick on-the-go snack.
In closing, I’d love to hear about what has helped you to maintain a good milk supply for your little one(s)! If you try any of these supplements or recipes, let me know what your results are. Blessings as you nourish your baby today!
As we come to the end of the year, I have to think about how blessed I have been to work with so many families during 2019 and to experience the special privilege of being involved as you welcome new life into your homes and families. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to participate in these sacred times!
I’m also grateful for the women who have served alongside me as assistants. Due to a variety of reasons (maternity leave, relocation, etc.) there were a number of faces to the assistant role, and I am thankful for each one! I also enjoyed getting to involve several students who were completing their requirements for certification, and I’m grateful for those of you who allowed these young ladies to participate in your care. A big thank you to Kristina, Marcile, Hannah, and Lynelle, as well as to my back-up midwife, RoseMarie, whose willingness to cover several times made it possible for me to enjoy some quality away-time with my own little family throughout the year.
It’s always fascinating to see how a year plays out and the variety that it can contain. Baby sizes ranged from 6lb 10oz up to almost 9 lb. Families served were expecting everything from baby #2 to baby #7, and I especially enjoyed serving several families for the second and third times-it’s special to be able to work with families for multiple pregnancies, and to see the older babies growing up! As usual, there were fast births (one little lady didn’t wait for me to arrive!) and those who took their time, and smooth pregnancies & births as well as those who experienced numerous complications—we were so thankful to see God answer specific prayers for the health of these moms & babies who are all thriving and doing well now.
One of our recent playdates!
I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to continue connecting with clients during our quarterly playdates throughout this past year. If you haven’t joined us, please consider it! You can watch the Facebook page for updates, or email me to be put on the update list. It’s a great way to stay in touch and meet other moms and homebirth babies who are in similar stages of life!
My own family is doing well, and the children are growing up so quickly, making us want to treasure this time we have while they are young. The biggest event in our lives this year was welcoming Tirzah Raquel into our home on December 14! Once she decided to make her appearance she came quickly, and we were once again thankful for Lynelle’s help as there was no way our midwife could arrive in time. I had really hoped to try using the birth pool this time, and was so grateful for how this helped the intensity! (I’ll post her birth story on the website sometime this next year, so be sure to follow so you get the notification, or watch the Facebook page!) We are thoroughly enjoying time to relax and recover as we adjust to adding a fifth child, and our older children are thoroughly smitten with her. It’s so special to see how much they love having a baby sister to snuggle and love on.
As 2020 begins, I’ll be taking some time off call to concentrate on my own newborn, and to do some traveling as a family. But I’m already looking forward to the anticipated arrival of babies as we head towards the summer months. In closing, thanks again for your support, and blessings as you head into the New Year!
This experience has been different yet! The first few weeks found baby gaining really slowly (she lost a pound after birth, and took three weeks to regain it!), which of course had me worried after everything that happened with my previous baby. But around 3 weeks old, things began to shift, and her suck got stronger and she began to gain weight! By now, at 7 weeks, she is a healthy, chunky 11 pounds, which means she has put on 2 pounds in just over 2 weeks! I thought perhaps there might be some other moms out there looking for ways to increase and improve their milk supply, so I’m going to share some of my favorite suggestions…some of these I found helpful when I was exclusively pumping for baby #4, and they have gone on to be helpful this time around.
Dear Friends & Clients of Gentle Delivery,
decided to make her appearance she came quickly, and we were once again thankful for Lynelle’s help as there was no way our midwife could arrive in time. I had really hoped to try using the birth pool this time, and was so grateful for how this helped the intensity! (I’ll post her birth story on the website sometime this next year, so be sure to follow so you get the notification, or watch the Facebook page!) We are thoroughly enjoying time to relax and recover as we adjust to adding a fifth child, and our older children are thoroughly smitten with her. It’s so special to see how much they love having a baby sister to snuggle and love on.
As 2020 begins, I’ll be taking some time off call to concentrate on my own newborn, and to do some traveling as a family. But I’m already looking forward to the anticipated arrival of babies as we head towards the summer months. In closing, thanks again for your support, and blessings as you head into the New Year!
Gentle Delivery Midwifery Services (Centre Co. PA) 