The Peaceful Birth of Talitha ~ Part 1

The Peaceful Birth of Talitha ~ Part 1

Note to my readers: I kept thinking I’d get this story written long before now, but I finally finished it just before my baby turns one. How time flies! My apologies on the length…there were so many details that had to be shared to give the background, but if you aren’t interested in those, just wait for the actual “birth story” coming soon!

When I sit down to write out the story of Talitha’s birth, the subject that continually comes to mind is that God answered prayer. Seriously. The winter of 2015 was unlike any I have ever experienced to this date, full of stretching in areas physically, spiritually, and emotionally. In order to understand part of the picture of how so many things came together in order to make her birth the peaceful event that it was, bear with me as I give you some background to that cold February night…

My husband, Joel, has served with All-Nations Bible Translation for many years, and earlier in 2014 the decision had been made to build a training base in the State College area, just 2 miles or so from our home. It would take too long to recount the ways God opened doors for a location, permits, funds, etc, but suffice it to say that, as generally happens with construction projects, this one had taken much longer than expected before all the red tape was completed in order to begin building. Which translates into the “crunch” time beginning while I began my last trimester of pregnancy, even though it hadn’t initially been planned that way. While I was not helping with construction J, it was our responsibility to make sure the volunteers had coffee, snacks for break, lunch, and sometimes even a place to stay along with breakfast and supper. Joel had tried to get help in for this, but to make a long story short, nothing worked out-though he was able to get a number of churches and interested individuals to help with some of the food prep, in order to reduce my load. I will admit that these months were HARD. When I’m pregnant, I’m extra emotional, uncomfortable, unsocial, and ready to be DONE. To add hostessing, food prep, and all the effort that goes into that to having two toddlers to care for, all the while dealing with pregnancy issues stretched me beyond what I thought I was physically able to handle. Oh, and I should mention that our small church community (made up of about 7 families) had THREE pregnant mamas, two major moves, a house renovation project AND health issues during the last two months of my pregnancy. But God gave strength, and we pressed on, reminding ourselves that at least the construction project wasn’t something that was going to be repeated!

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How the building project looked in January…so much snow that volunteers had to be taken up the lane in a 4 wheel drive vehicle!

Besides the building project, I also was committed to delivering babies! The “last” baby I had on my radar before my own was due the end of January. When I took on this sweet couple, it was with the idea that January would be my “rest month”, as Joel was actively lining up help for the month in order for me to prepare for our baby. I also figured that since there were a solid 5 ½ weeks between this mamas due date and my own, this also should be no problem. Well…sometimes God has other plans in mind! I started getting a bit nervous about how all of this was going to work out when I began having preterm labor signs of my own around 33 weeks. When I realized that I was beginning to dilate, and that baby was settling lower and lower, we seriously reduced my time on my feet, which helped to slow the contractions. I began praying that God would help baby wait at least until this other baby came…and that baby wouldn’t come before we could do it at home. We figured out a workable plan in which I would sit with my feet up after every hour or two of work, which helped to keep things at bay, though I started wondering if we’d be meeting our baby sooner rather than later. But back to babies…the one due in January was not to be my “last” one after all! One of the ladies in our church, who is a good friend, had some things come up which made their family feel like perhaps the midwife they had chosen was not a good fit for them. While I do not normally get involved with a situation such as this (there’s often a deeper reason when a couple and midwife part ways late in pregnancy, and it’s not something to delve into without concern), we had a close relationship with this family, and felt like we needed to help them out. Incidentally, this mama was due the same week as I was, and we had been neck-to-neck throughout our pregnancies, though she was convinced she’d deliver first, as her babies tended to come early. We lined up a back-up, just in case, as there was the real possibility we’d both be in labor at the same time…

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Getting things ready for baby sister to arrive!

So all of that brings us to the first week of February. At this point, I’m still having contractions whenever I ‘m on my feet for awhile, and I’m waiting on two babies before my own can come. It’s the kind of situation where you keep saying, “Okay, Lord, let’s see how you’re going to work all this out…” 🙂 In the middle of all this, we started a renovation project in our basement…we had help to do it, and wanted to have the basement ready by the time my mom came to help after our birth, and I didn’t want to be dealing with dirt, dust and noise with a newborn, so we dug in. There were times I cried-like when the heater came on in the basement and spewed concrete dust all through the house…but the guys made great progress throughout that week, and one afternoon a sister from church came over to help me clean. After waiting about 10 days from his due date, the “January baby” came…and I felt like it was a direct answer to prayer to have a clear night for travel (no snow and ice on the road) and a straight-forward, relatively short labor, complete with a healthy baby. I felt a huge sense of relief, too, as that was one more responsibility off my shoulders, allowing me to feel more prepared for my own baby.

By the time the third week of February began, my friend and I were wondering who was going go first. I had reached that point where one is chronically uncomfortable, but so had my friend. That Sunday night she went into labor (just 3 days after moving into her newly renovated  house…talk about cutting it close!), and early Monday morning I was called over, helping them to welcome a baby girl within an hour or two of my arrival. Once again, God was gracious, giving them a lovely birth, with no issues that would have been challenging for this very-pregnant midwife to take care of! This week were also trying to finish up the renovation in our basement, as Joel’s sister, Lucy, and her husband were supposed to be arriving that week in order for Daniel to do some trim work at the ABT project. So I napped around construction noise, and felt grateful that meals at the ABT project were being taken care of by another church family who had moved into our community just the week before (remember my mention of two moves over this time?!).

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Baby E around 24 hrs old…this was the day before my own baby came!

Another aspect of uncertainty surrounding this birth also had to do with the availability of my own midwife. Our dear friend, Rose, had been involved with our previous two births, and we really wanted her for my midwife again this time. For each birth, God answered specific prayer related to her availability, and this time was no exception! She was working down in Lancaster, and while she had permission from her employer to head our direction when needed, my last labor hadn’t given us a lot of warning-and Joel was not in a hurry to do a solo birth again! I had also been hoping to have my student, Emily, involved, even thinking that at least she’d get some good practice if Rose couldn’t make it in time. But she was already committing to attending her next midwifery class in Maine, which was scheduled to take place the last two weeks of February. So we prayed, and committed the situation to the Lord, knowing that He would work it all out somehow…but not knowing exactly who would be a part of our birth team.

Tuesday night, the 17th/18th, I slept fitfully, being awake for several hours with contractions. While intense enough to keep me from sleeping, they wouldn’t get any stronger, and I kept wondering at what point I should be calling Rose to come. When morning finally arrived, I was tired and discouraged. By this time I had experienced many uncomfortable nights with little sleep and lots of contractions, and wasn’t sure how much longer I could survive physically and mentally. After so many hours of consistent, time able contractions through the night, finding myself at only 4cm was so disappointing…surely things should be happening by now! Joel was so understanding, and after giving me time for a good cry on his shoulder, he sent me for a long, relaxing bath, after which he put me back to bed to see if I could sleep. He then proceeded to tell our friend who was working in the basement to wait to come for several hours. I know this seems like an unrelated detail, but it played into the events of the rest of the day!  I was able to sleep in the quiet house, and once I woke up refreshed, Joel told Chris to come back-we found out that Daniel & Lucy were coming that evening, instead of waiting for the next day-so we needed the basement for them to sleep in!

I still look back on that Wednesday as a gift. Up to that day, my life had been so full, the schedule so tight, so many urgent, pressing things to take care, running from here to there. No time for reflection, or for that mental preparation that is so helpful when facing something like labor. Even after having had two natural births, I found myself fighting fears of a different type this time. Nightmares of having to be taken to the hospital, because I couldn’t take the pain. Wondering if I could mentally cope with whatever might come in labor. Every time I would voice those fears, my husband would remind me that they weren’t coming for the Lord, and that I needed to trust in Him, and resist those fears. Yet having a day in which to reflect, and be able to gear up mentally for labor was something I needed in order to be prepared. Joel encouraged me to take the day “off”, and he even suggested taking our little family out for lunch. It’s one of those sweet memories I have…our last outing as a little family of 4, enjoying some relaxed time together at the local Chinese buffet. Talking about when the baby might come, and the children soaking up the time with mommy and daddy.

Contractions continued to come and go throughout the day, and Joel (wisely) wondered if it might not be a good idea to touch base with Rose. He really didn’t want her to be very far away if things did start to happen! Rose informed me that she was off work the rest of the week, and was thinking of heading up to her family’s place in order to do some study, and be closer to us in case baby decided to come. I went for a walk in order to get some fresh air and sunshine (though a storm was brewing), and found contractions very strong and intense while walking, though they would slow down again whenever I would sit. Around this time, Joel and I discussed whether or not I should consider taking castor oil. While we didn’t want to interfere with God’s timing of this birth, we also knew that I was physically very run down, and we were concerned about how I would handle more DSC_0632csleepless nights should things continue. After talking with Rose again, and finding out that she was studying at a nearby restaurant, as she felt from the tone of my voice earlier that she should be close by (and a snow storm was predicted for later on in the evening!), we decided to try castor oil if things didn’t move forward on their own. The mind-body connection is amazing, as contractions began to pick up again after just knowing that Rose was 2 miles away!

To be continued….

Midwife + Nursing Baby = Crazy Stories!

Midwife + Nursing Baby = Crazy Stories!

For a little change of pace, I thought it’d be fun to recount some of the craziness that took place in my life over this past summer. With my third-born arriving in February, I took a break from delivering babies while we adjusted and recovered. As the summer came closer, and the due dates of those fist mamas approached, I’ll admit that I had some misgivings. For starters, it wasn’t like I was getting vast amounts of sleep. 🙂 Then, you add my dear, intense, unpredictable baby to the mix. The plan had been to bring the baby along, and make sure I had an assistant along to help out, should my baby need help while I was unavailable. I had these lovely visions of those “crunchy” midwives that you see doing everything toting their happy baby around on their back…but that’s not reality in my case!

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my baby girl when these stories start…

My babies have all been of the “high needs” class, and baby #3 has been no exception. But that adds another dimension to the situation when you’re talking of bringing an extra little person along to something as unpredictable and intense as a birth! Thankfully, I was blessed with very understanding clients, and they were all duly warned beforehand that if I was hired, so was my baby…but I also promised to do my best to keep distractions to a minimum. So here are some tales from this past summer as I toted my little companion with me at all hours of the day and night!

As it turned out, I didn’t have alot of time to stress over how it was all going to work out, as my first mama went early. When I took the early morning call, I had to think that the timing was beautiful, as I had JUST finished feeding Talitha, and had just gone back to bed. (On another note, it also happened that my sister was staying the weekend, so Joel didn’t even have to babysit the other children!) This meant she was ready to be buckled into the van, where she promptly fell asleep-and she slept long enough for me to arrive at the house, unload, set things up and have my babysitter/assistant arrive to help me out. And it just happened to be my dear friend/helper who can now say she’s cared for ALL of my babies at births over the years. Beth did a great job of playing with Talitha, taking her outside for a walk when she was fussy, and acting as my second set of hands at the same time.

Beth entertaining Talitha

Beth entertaining Talitha

It felt like an answer to prayer, then, when my baby slept in the new  baby’s nursery during the birth itself, and for the hour after. She even sat in her Bumbo while we finished cleaning up! With the exception of crying while the mama was in transition (this was when Beth took her for a walk!), she did really well. This made me figure that maybe this whole thing of bringing a baby along wouldn’t be so challenging after all…

Until the next birth! It was that evening that I realized that my baby girl does not appreciate Chipotle’s spicy chicken. I already knew that dairy products caused her stomach to protest, so I had forgone any cheese and sr. cream on my burrito the night before. But the chicken must have been too much. This time, a good friend from my church was along to help babysit, and provide any additional help we might need at the birth. All was well when we arrived, but as the evening wore on, Talitha protested everything…nursing…sleep, you name it. Lynelle ended up walking her up and down the road, and finally baby calmed down and went to sleep. But once she was down, she awoke for her usual night feeding, and blissfully slept through the birth and ensuing clean up. The biggest challenge, then, was getting home when it was her usual time to get up, and now mama wanted to sleep!

Fast forward several busy weeks…by this point, I had two mamas that could technically go anytime. And then at the last minute, I ended up taking over care for another friend, as her midwife had a planned trip out of town (planned well in advance-the hope was that this baby would arrive before she left!), and her baby had decided to take her own sweet time to arrive. Wouldn’t you know, the day this baby decided to come, all of my back-up helpers were either out of town or busy…and my own family was in the middle of helping to host a youth group of 20 from OH, as well as prepare for a big open house that the ministry my husband works for was hosting that evening. Timing can be amazing sometimes! 🙂 It’s also amazing, though, how God can work out all the details…a friend helped

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Amy & Talitha

with my older children so my husband could finish his projects for the day, and one of the youth group girls graciously consented to being pulled into a totally unexpected job. Amy ended up not only caring for my baby, but also caring for the laboring mama’s older toddler, as well. The baby came in the middle of the afternoon, once again finding Talitha sleeping during the birth, and we made it back to the open house that evening just as they were ready to ask the blessing on the meal.

I had a couple of weeks to wait, then, as the next babies weren’t in any hurry to come. In fact, I had pretty much given up on being at either of them, as we had planned to be out of town for a weekend (again, this was planned before these mamas started care), and with both of the babies still inside, I figured the chances were slim that they would both wait on my return. But when we returned home from our little trip, both babies were still waiting! The amazing thing was that they also waited until after the following afternoon, when our church was having an ordination that my husband was part of…I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if I had received a call during that time! That evening, after a big, busy day in which Talitha missed a good nap, I got a call-and we decided that this time I should leave her home sleeping (she had just gone down), and hope that either I would be home by the time she got up, or else we’d figure out a plan B. I went on out, and after awhile realized I wasn’t going to be home to feed her, so my babysitter went by my home and brought Talitha to me, around 2am! She looked rather puzzled when she arrived, but after taking everything in, she nursed and went down for a good nap, waking once and needing some attention.

waiting patiently for mommy to finish paperwork

waiting patiently for mommy to finish paperwork

We went on to have a baby, and soon after I got another call-this time from the other mama. Things were happening fast, so after checking things over again, I left my newly-delivered mama in the hands of my assistant Gretchen, pulled Talitha out of bed and tucked her into her carseat, and raced across town. By the time I reached this home, I knew things were moving quickly, and since Talitha was sleeping, she just stayed in her carseat while I went in and joined my assistant (Lynelle) for the birth, which took place within half an hour of my arrival! Once Talitha awoke (about an hour later!), Lynelle brought her in and she was happy as a lark, and she did well the rest of the morning as we returned to the first mama and completed another appointment before we got home.

But the next birth was not so rosy from Talitha’s perspective…I had hoped that if things happened in the night, I could just let her sleep. My usual babysitter was unavailable, and after calling around, I found a friend who was willing to help out, and she brought Talitha to me when it was time for her to eat. Teething was in full force, and my little girlie was not a happy camper. I honestly don’t know what I would have done with out Heidi, who patiently walked her around the neighborhood until she went to sleep…

The last two births of the summer took place about a week apart, and both ended up being similar stories…both took place at some time during the night, both places Talitha protested being put to bed (I have a travel pack n play that would always take with me), and both times once she finished protesting, she went to sleep and was fine.

Sleeping peacefully in her bed

Sleeping peacefully in her bed

So thus ended the adventures of Talitha joining mommy at births!
As a general rule, I only take on 2 clients per month, as I find more than that very stretching…partly due to demands on family time, partly to the difficulty in sleeping after a birth when you have little ones at home, and partly because I want to enjoy being a mom besides being a midwife. 🙂 So doing 8 births in 3 months time was a record since I’ve been combining midwifery with family life. My husband and I marvel as we look over the summer…there were so many other things going on, besides these births, and yet we’re amazed at the way God directed and orchestrated these events. There is a dear older midwife around here that tells me God always sIMG_0031eems to work things out in a perfect way…if I could just learn that from the get-go, it would eliminate alot of stress in my life! But this is a little picture of how things came together this summer, from just one perspective-that of having a nursing baby. Now that my baby is getting older, it will hardly happen anymore. On one hand, it looks much easier to not have that additional unpredictable factor included at births-and on the other hand, I’m going to miss my little buddy!
My favorite conveniences for the first days postpartum…

My favorite conveniences for the first days postpartum…

If you’re like me, sometimes you roll your eyes at yet one more advertised item deemed a “necessity” for baby. Seriously, what more does a newborn need than diapers, a few blankets, and mama to snuggle with, sleep close to, and nurse whenever he wants? I’m not saying some of these accessories aren’t helpful-I have my favorites gizmos that I find to be a blessing (the bouncer and Bumbo being at the top of the list!), but I think we can forget that babies don’t need 101 items in order to survive the first days and weeks. That said, after having my third child earlier this year, I was reminded once again that there are some things out there, that while not necessities, can help in easing the transitions and recovery process during the initial postpartum period. I keep thinking I need to write them down, in order to share them with other mamas-to-be, so here’s my attempt at listing some of my very favorite postpartum items to have on hand:

Note: this list is totally of my own making, and the links given are solely for your benefit-these are NOT affiliate links, nor do I receive any compensation for posting these!

For Mom:

  • Depends/Disposable Underwear:
    • No joke! This may be the only time in your life when disposable underwear seem wonderful. They are comfortable, keep you and the sheets clean, and make life easier…

      Snuggling with my littlest and the new big sister

      Snuggling with my littlest and the new big sister

  • A good quality, comfortable nursing bra:
    • It’s been my experience that higher cost = higher comfort when it comes to nursing bras. My absolute favorite is the Bravado! Seamless Body Silk. It’s adjustable, has no wires, is easy to use, and adjusts to your continuing adjusting size during those first weeks!
  • Nursing Cups:
    • These were new to me, recommended by a client. But I’ve found them to be a life saver during the days your milk comes in and your body is trying to adapt! They relieve some of the pressure, giving you some relief, and make it easier for a newborn to latch on. Depending upon my milk supply and the infant, I’ve used them for anywhere between 48 hours to 3 weeks as we get the latch/supply/demand/initial soreness figured out. If you struggle with inverted or flat nipples, these can also help to pull the nipple out, making nursing go much better. Here’s the ones I use: http://www.amazon.com/Pharmics-0813-0099-00-O-cal-ette-Nursing-Cup/dp/B002UKXLJK
  • Wish Garden New Mother’s Salve:
    • Nothing beats this salve in being the ultimate for nipple care and repair. Used after every feeding, it helps relieve soreness, heal trauma, and is a general all-purpose healing salve for about anything else, to boot. We keep it around and use it for wounds, bruises, etc. when it’s not being used for a newly nursing mommy! Find it here: http://www.inhishands.com/new-mothers-healing-salve/
  • Maxi-Milk herbal tincture:
    • Whenever I sense my milk supply is low, a few days of using this supplement always makes a difference. I keep it on hand for those times when baby is experiencing a growth spurt, sleep is in short supply, or when the schedule is unusually hectic. A hungry baby is an unhappy one, which then makes for a stressed mama! Nothing else I have tried works like this stuff does. Order it from: mountainmeadowherbs.com
  • Nursing pillow or several extra pillows:
    • Having a good pillow handy during those first days of breastfeeding can help get baby in a good position, and keep your back from the strain of bending over…sometimes you don’t even realize you are bending over or getting uptight as you help baby nurse…but this can help you relax and save you from some stressed muscles!
  • A few good books:
    • The first 2 weeks after baby comes are a critical time for you as a mom to lay low, rest, and enjoy these first days with your baby. I’m always amazed at how long it takes a newborn to nurse those first weeks, and I find that I enjoy having a few good books around from my “reading wish list” to enjoy makes that time feel like a mini-vacation.
  • Thank you notes:
    • I know, you need to rest those first days, but I find, too, that those first 2 weeks while I have extra help around and meals coming in are the best times to write little notes. Once I start getting back into “real life”, that time evaporates. So I like to be prepared ahead of time, with blank note cards so I can keep from getting behind on writing notes to those who bless us!

      Enjoying my little "vacation"...you can see my little tote on the end table

      Enjoying my little “vacation”…you can see my little tote on the end table

  • Postpartum Tote:
    • Before my baby came, I prepared a little portable tote basket with the essentials I would need, in order to eliminate trips up and down the stairs. It contained nursing pads, salve, diapers, wipes, and a few other items that I might need, and I kept it on the end table by the couch. It saved me many steps, as the rest of the baby items were upstairs!

 

For Baby:

  • Coconut Oil:
    • This stuff is amazing for baby skin care! With the antibactieral properties, it helps to keep cradle cap and baby acne at bay, as well as nourishing baby’s tender skin, and adding moisture during dry months. This time I purchased the liquefied oil, in order to make it easier to use, and sometimes I’d add a drop or two of some sweet-smelling essential oil to lather baby with after her bath.

      All cozy in her muslin blanket while big brother holds her hand!

  • Bulb Syringe:
    • The 2oz. size works the best, in my opinion. Many times your midwife will include one in your birth kit, but they can also be purchased from medical or birth supply companies. These are great for the occasional gagging babies due on mucus, or for cleaning out stuffy little noses so baby can sleep better.
  • Muslin Swaddle Blankets:
    • I love these! While the name brands do seem to be the softest, the “off brands” work as well! The cotton is breathable, allowing baby to be comfortable while still feeling secure when wrapped tightly. And they make great nursing covers, or sun shades for baby…and they are big enough they can still be used when baby is past the newborn stage!
  • Baby Book:
    • If I don’t have a baby book ready to write in, then I miss so many little events of those first few days. Plus, the extra time mama has to sit and hold baby also translate into a few extra minutes to jot things down as they happen, rather than trying to remember after the fact!

      Lots of love and kisses!

      Lots of love and kisses!

So, what are your favorite items? Anything you would add, or give to a new mama? I’d love to hear your suggestions and thoughts!

Announcing our new arrival…

Baby Talitha joined our family on Feb. 18th, born at home, and weighing in at almost 9#! We are thoroughly enjoying her, and this explains why I may not have responded to your emails or other communication if you’ve tried to get in touch with me recently. More details regarding her birth will be shared eventually, once I have a chance to process everything, recover, and become a bit more accustomed to life with three little ones. 🙂

For now, here’s some pictures of our sweetheart:

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Sisters meeting for the first time…midwife getting ready to perform the newborn exam

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Happy siblings!

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2 days old…

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Sleeping peacefully all wrapped up

We love her!

We love her!

Remembering seven years ago…a thank you to many of you!

Remembering seven years ago…a thank you to many of you!

I had to stop today and remember what happened on this date seven years ago…it’s actually hard to believe it’s been that long! I’m sure the fact that it’s also one of my grandmother’s birthdays helps to remind me of the actual date, but it’s fun to take some time and think about and remember some of the dear people that played such an important role in the midwifery aspect of my life. It was on October 16 in 2007 that I had the great privilege and wonder of “catching” my first baby…

As a student midwife, I had been eagerly anticipating when this time would come. By that point, I had finished almost one year of the academic work required to complete my training, and I had been working, living and training at Family Birth Services, a birth center/training center since the end of May of that year. Living at FBS was like studying midwifery by immersion…that was seriously most of what you did all the time…live, talk, think, dream and study birth, babies and mothers. Since my arrival at the birth center about 5 months before this, I had spent many hours sitting in prenatal appointments, talking with other midwives, attending births in a variety of settings, and trying to take in everything I possibly could.

Family Birth Services was a wonderful setup for aspiring midwives. Besides being staffed by a lovely group of ladies (who didn’t mind questions and discussions going on into the wee hours of the night!), those of us who were students were offered the opportunity to truly get our hands into the work as the birth center offered discounted rates for those families who chose to have a student provide them with care. When I think back to the families I had the joy of working with (many of whom still stay in touch today!), it makes me incredibly grateful for the investment they made in my training. Getting the opportunity to learn how to care for mothers and babies while assuming a major portion of responsibility is one of the best ways to learn! And I’m grateful, too, for the midwives who tirelessly gave of themselves to supervise and ensure that the clients were still receiving safe, quality care while allowing the student to provide as much care as they were capable of.

So, come October, I was feeling mixed emotions about when I would get to play the primary role in my first client’s birth. At this point, I had already had two primary care clients who had already delivered…one who went preterm, and another who ended up delivering while I was gone at a required midwifery training workshop. I should back up here, too, and note that while I had been assisting with other births, each of us students especially savored the relationship we had with our “own” primary care clients-these were the ladies we were providing care to under supervision, and whose births we were the most involved with. Due to the fact that I had some ability to communicate in Spanish, I was give the opportunity to take on my own primary care clients earlier than most students, as there were no other students available at that time who were able to offer Spanish speaking care. My dear Spanish-speaking supervising midwife, Sorani, had her hands full as she not only worked to help me communicate with clients, but also worked to make sure I was covering all the details needed especially since I was so early in my clinical training.

Given the fact that my two previous clients had not turned out the way I was hoping, I was beginning to wonder what might possibly happen with my third client. Sorani patiently encouraged me to trust the Lord with the timing and outcome, and relax while we waited for this baby who was taking her own good time to come. I still remember getting the call on my phone in the wee hours of the morning, and thinking that here was my time to put into practice the things I had been learning! Things seemed to be progressing well, and since this birth was planned to take place at the birth center, my client decided to come on in.

I’ll never forget the thrill that went through me when, just about 2 hours later, I helped this beautiful little girl enter the world during a lovely picture-perfect birth. While the difficult births would take place later, this first one was beautiful…totally breathtaking to me as a new midwife, and thrilling as I realized again how much I was drawn to the birthing process and how fulfilling this work was-even at 4 in the morning! 🙂 I’m sure Sorani (who was supervising) and Peggy (the other student assisting) won’t forget how they had to pull me down to earth and remind me that I really should eat something before my blood sugar crashed due to the high I was on! 🙂 We had a special celebration with hugs and ice cream in the kitchen early that morning, and I was reassured that this was indeed the work that I thoroughly enjoyed doing.

While there have been lots of other experiences in the years since, this birth still stays clear in my mind. And on this day when I remember this particular birthdate, I also want to thank all of those who invested in my training…the families who allowed me to be a part of their birth experiences, the midwives who allowed me to be part of their practices, those who spent hours teaching/instructing/coaching me, the other students who I trained alongside of, and the Lord who opened the doors and allowed me to be involved in the beautiful & intense work of assisting new lives into the world. Thank you!

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Baby L just a few hours after birth…dressed and ready to go home!

Fussy Babies, Tongue-Ties and Nursing Challenges

Fussy Babies, Tongue-Ties and Nursing Challenges

Matthias Johann 133Recently there have been alot of articles floating around on Facebook and other blogs regarding tongue ties and the challenges they pose for nursing babies. Reading these have reminded me of the very difficult six months following my last baby’s birth. In the past few months I’ve been wanting to write about this phase of my life, and I’m hoping that maybe it can be a help to others who might find themselves in similar shoes. While our family found some answers, I still have questions that I’m studying and researching…so this may end up being part one in a series! 🙂

For starters, a little background: my first pregnancy was challenging, especially for the first 20 weeks during which I was very sick. Towards the end, I ended up being border-line preeclamptic, and we were grateful that our little princess came safely, and a week early. Quite honestly, my labor and delivery the first time was “textbook” perfect: 8 hrs from start to finish, no complications, and with what we call in birth lingo an “uneventful postpartum”. While I never had an abundant supply of milk, nursing was fine, and she gained slowly but surely, being more of a petite little girl. She was on the fussy side (which, incidentally, runs in my husband’s family), and around 4 months I cut dairy out of my diet, which made a big difference in her personality. I still can’t say she was an “easy” baby, but she wasn’t excessively difficult, either. So, when little brother was on the way, I was happily surprised with how much better the pregnancy went the second time around. While I was queasy at times, and felt a bit picky about what I ate, I didn’t have the months of throwing up and severe nausea and weakness that I had the first time. The last couple of weeks I once again struggled with keeping my BP from going too high, but all in all everything went extremely well. Which, in turn, made me expect that nursing and baby care would go that much better the second time, as well. However, that was not to be the case…

When our little boy was born, he was an even 9 lbs, and nursed well right off the bat. Because he was doing so well with nursing those first two or three days, I made what I believe was my first mistake: I gave him a pacifier so I could sleep at night. I figured that he was nursing so well and so strongly, and since he was so chunky to begin with, and that it wouldn’t cause any problems…he was nursing constantly, and I just wanted a little bit of sleep! By week two, nursing started to become a battle. He would latch on for a second or two, then howl, arching his back, and fighting it. It wasn’t every time, but it increasingly got worse, so that by the time he was 3 weeks old I didn’t want to try to nurse him in public anywhere, as it took so much work. Like most babies, he lost weight the first week, but it took him an entire 3 weeks before he was back to his birth weight. At that point, we took his pacifier away, hoping that we were dealing with a case of nipple confusion, and that maybe after a few days we would be nursing fine. Those days were rough…he cried SO much, and wanted to suck constantly…and yet would fight me when I tried to nurse him. After a few days it got a bit better, but still not that great. By that time I wondered if maybe he was dealing with a sore tummy and food allergies, so I went off of dairy, hoping it would make a difference. After several days he seemed to be a little better, but not the drastic difference that his sister had made when I cut those foods out.

I still remember the day when he was about 6 weeks old. Joel was gone all day for a meeting (it was a Saturday, which normally was my day for a “break” in having daddy’s help with two little ones!), and I was expecting company for supper and for the night. My baby seriously cried ALL DAY LONG. I think he wore himself out enough to take two short naps, but that was it. Feeding was a battle, and I didn’t have a CLUE what to do with him. I laid him on the bed, and watched him cry, and all of a sudden it dawned on me that he could hardly move his tongue! He was howling, and his tongue literally looked as though it was tied to the bottom of his mouth. Now, being a midwife, I had seen tongue tied babies before, but all of those I had seen had been what they call “anterior ties”, meaning that you could see the membrane that tied the tongue. My baby had what I came to find out was a “posterior tie”…you could only see the membrane when you used your finger to lift his tongue up. After consulting with several midwife friends, I decided to take him to a doctor to have him checked out, and hopefully take care of the tie.

Monday morning I took him in to see the family practice doctor, which proved to be a disappointing visit. The doctor was very concerned about baby’s lack of growth, but totally shrugged off the tongue tie possibility, and instead wanted to do testing for a heart defect. I told her that I didn’t think a baby with a heart defect could scream as long as my baby could without wearing out, and declined the testing, telling her I would continue to monitor his heart and growth, and bring him back if there was any other concerns. I then returned home, called my dear nurse friend/fellow midwife down the road, and she agreed to come up and help me attempt to take care of the tongue tie. We did, and all of a sudden he could move his tongue unlike he had ever moved it before!

I was hoping this would be the end of the struggles, but it wasn’t the miraculous cure that I was hoping for. While he latched better, it still wasn’t where it needed to be. I could feel my milk supply dropping, despite eating quality and quantity foods (I gained 7 lbs. just trying to increase my supply!), and taking different herbs. A week later, my sister came to visit, which was a huge boost as I felt like all I was doing those days was trying to feed and console a crying baby. By the end of the week, after another long crying spell, my husband said “I really think you need to feed him a bottle of something and see if he needs more to eat.” Now, he had suggested this before, but I adamantly refused. I always taught that breastfeeding is the BEST way to go…once you start a bottle you’re on a downhill slope…etc, etc, etc. I had all the arguments as to why I would never feed my baby a bottle. But here he was crying, and we were desperate. So, I used some of the formula samples I had on hand, and decided to try it….and the little man ate as if he was starving. He drained the bottle dry in no time, and looked the most happy and content as he had ever looked. I cried. Here I was, thinking I was doing the best thing by pushing nursing, and my baby was starving. And talk about eating all the words you ever said…how could I EVER feed this baby a bottle in public?!?

But I wasn’t ready to give up on nursing…and the next several months held quite the times, as I continued to try to get him to nurse first, and get a bottle last. I tried a nipple shield-that really helped, but I felt like I had so much “equipment” along for nursing that it was no fun to go places. And after awhile I realized that not only dairy would cause his tummy to get upset, but so did wheat. So I kept to a very strict diet, which helped alot. But after dropping my milk supply so much, I never was able to get back enough to feed him 100% breastmilk. So that prompted another journey…researching formula alternatives. With all the additives, corn syurp solids and other things in powdered formula, I did not feel right giving it to my baby, and I was delighted to find the recipe for home-made formula on the Weston Price Foundation website (www.westonaprice.org). We were blessed to live just down the road from an organic, grass-fed dairy, and I began mixing up home-made formula on a daily basis. While it was more work, it was amazing the difference it made…no more constipation, and his stools and spit up were identical to a 100% breast fed baby. And he started gaining weight!

We continued the partial breast-fed, partial supplement feedings until he was about 6 months old, when one day he refused to nurse, and continued to refuse. I bemoaned the lack of bonding that would come from not nursing…and my husband wryly commented that he thought giving the baby a bottle peacefully was more bonding than forcing a screaming, back-arching baby to the breast. 🙂 Good point! Little Matthias continued to grow and develop normally, and once he could crawl around and eat solid food, he no longer had any food allergies. When he was 10 months old, I one day read an article about how lip ties can also affect nursing…and sure enough, he has a very pronounced lip tie. Which finally makes sense to me why he never was able to get a really good latch…his upper lip never was able to flare very well.

In retrospect, I feel like I’ve learned a number of things: first, I won’t quickly give another baby a pacifier. It really is best to let nursing get off to a really good start, even if you’re tire. Next, I wish I would have thought to investigate the tongue tie sooner. I am paying really close attention to the babies I deliver these days, to make sure it looks right! I also wish I would have searched longer and harder for a professional who could have maybe found both his tongue and lip tie and taken care of it right away. I think if it would have been done when he was 3 wks old, we would have had many less problems. I have also learned to never criticize another mom for the way she feeds her baby. Many times you have no idea what she has been through, and what may have brought her to the point that she is at. As mothers, we want to do what is best for our babies, and sometimes it looks different in other situations. I also STRONGLY recommend looking into making your own formula if you need to bottle feed! And lastly, I’m doing some research, and I haven’t figured it all out yet, but I’m really hoping that by possibly taking a different form of folic acid during my next pregnancy, I may be able to help reduce or prevent the significant food sensitivities/stomach issues and tongue ties in the next baby. I haven’t read enough to be able to share it yet…but I’m hopeful that maybe things can be different the next time around!

So, that’s the story…God’s grace was sufficient, though I really thought I was going crazy numerous times during those months. A fussy baby equals little sleep, and I went months without sleeping more than 2 or 3 hrs at a time. But our little fellow is worth it all, and brings us much joy…and I know I’ve learned an extra level of sympathy for those experiencing nursing difficulties and challenges with fussy babies!For more information on tongue ties, check out:http://www.cwgenna.com/ttidentify.htmlhttp://kiddsteeth.com/dental_topics.html#evaluate_and_diagnose_a_posterior_tongue_tie

Matthias around 1 week old

Matthias around 1 week old

February Travels…and what the CPM Title Actually Means

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Beautiful palms and lots of green-we soaked it up while we could, and then returned to 12 in. of snow still on the ground at home!

Happy March to each of you! I am really ready for winter to be over, especially since this one seems to be stretching on and on. This past month has been busy, and I even enjoyed a 6 day reprieve from cold when I took my 15 mo. old to Costa Rica in order to attend a dear friend’s wedding. It was a great trip, though not without excitement (like when I realized I left my wallet behind when I arrived at the airport and was ready to depart…or when flights were cancelled due to weather…and other such things….so grateful for how the Lord took care of every detail!). The chance to reconnect with old friends was very special, and it was fun to introduce them to my little fellow, though it would have been even better if my husband and 2 yr. old could have joined us. They seemed to manage quite well on their own, but we were all ready to be back as a little family once again!

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The way to travel with a toddler…

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Matthias LOVED playing in the water-this same day it was -10 in PA!

I was trying to come up with a good idea to write about this month, and then I thought that perhaps I could blog about one of the items on my list of things that I want to add to my prospective client handout folder. One question, or series of questions, that comes up frequently during the initial interview has to do with my certification, and what exactly it means. There are so many different names and titles out there that it can be confusing at times! When you go to figure out what care provider is right for you, it is helpful to have an idea of what his/her qualifications are, and what all is entailed with those. So, here’s a brief look at what the Certified Professional Midwife title means…

The North American Registry of Midwives (NARM) was founded in 1987 by the Midwives Alliance of North America, and they oversee the certification standards of the CPM credential. In order to become certified, one must first show that she can provide competent, safe, and qualified care to mothers and babies throughout the birth and postpartum process, both by completing academic studies and by demonstrating care in a clinical setting. This requires that a prospective midwife both study through a NARM-approved academic institution, as well as complete an internship under the supervision of other certified midwives. Proving that one has the mastered the skills necessary to provide knowledgeable care takes time, and there is an extensive set of qualifications that must be met before one can sit for the final exams that cover questions relating to each phase of maternal and infant periods. Once the exams are passed, re-certification must take place every 3 years, which requires ongoing continuing education and re-certification of CPR and NRP.

When I first looked into obtaining midwifery education, I decided to pursue getting certification, even though the state I was working in did not recognize the credential. It was important to me that I do my best to provide the best care possible, and submitting to the qualifications necessary to become a CPM helped prospective clients to know that I took my job seriously and that I had demonstrated the ability to pass the national standard for midwifery care. In areas where licensure is not offered for homebirth midwives, this certification also gives clients the assurance that a certain level of training has been taken, instead of not having any idea of what a midwife’s qualifications may or may not include. Interestingly, many of the states that offer licenses to midwives are using the CPM as the basis for their training requirements. While many midwives who do not have the CPM title are competent and experienced, I feel like having a standard of competency for certification helps to ensure safety and high standards of care for each mother who desires to birth out of the hospital.

Finally, I like the way this quote sums it up, taken from http://www.nacpm.org/what-is-cpm.html
“A Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) is a knowledgeable, skilled and independent midwifery practitioner who has met the standards for certification set by the North American Registry of Midwives (NARM). CPM is the only international credential that requires knowledge about and experience in out-of-hospital birth.”

If you’re interested in looking into this topic further, I’d suggest you check out these links:
http://narm.org/advocacy/narm-brochure-text/  gives a good overview of the Midwifery Model of Care and how CPM’s help to promote this, and http://midwifeinternational.org/how-to-become-midwife/certified-professional-midwife-vs-certified-nurse-midwife-whats-difference/  details the differences between the CPM and CNM titles.

Feel free to let me know if you have questions, or if you’d like to add a comment regarding this…thanks!

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Little M ready for his newborn exam…a March baby who will be having a birthday soon!

Learning Empathy…

A big thanks to each of you for your interest in helping to get Gentle Delivery Childbirth Services off to a great start here in State College! During this past month I’ve had a chance to interact with a number of new friends, and I’m enjoying the opportunity to learn more about what this general area offers as far as birth choices. If you haven’t done so, take a minute to check out and like the new Facebook page: www. facebook.com/gentledelivery  I’ve also added another testimonial to the website-feel free to read through that as well!

As many of you know, I practiced midwifery for a couple of years before I married and had children of my own. During that time, I occasionally met a prospective client who wasn’t sure about using someone for care who hadn’t experienced birth herself. In all honesty, being a single midwife allowed me to give much more to my clients, as I didn’t have the same pressing schedule-it didn’t matter if I disappeared for 2-3 days at a birth, as no one was depending on me to be around! Sometimes when I think about those days, it dawns on me how much more freedom I had to spend time learning, talking on the phone, answering questions, making home visits, spending hours with clients, taking classes, teaching, etc.

But the flipside does have some advantages-I now have an increased level of empathy. I don’t think that I wasn’t sympathetic before. But, my ability to feel with another mom the challenges she is going through has dramatically grown. And the realization of how much growing a baby, giving birth and adding a new member to the family changes things. So, for those of you who have been curious (there were many times a client would tell me, “I want to be there when you have a baby yourself! :), here are a four specific ways my perspective has changed:

1. I now know what it means when someone says “nothing works!”. During my first pregnancy, I had severe morning sickness. The kind that lasted and made you throw up and generally wish you weren’t alive anymore. I would lay on the couch feeling terrible, and cry just thinking of EVER having another baby, because if I was this sick with the first one, how would I ever take care of another baby while going through this. Not exactly the best thing to be thinking at that moment-“sufficient unto the day are the evils thereof”, right?! 🙂 Before I went through this, I would freely hand out suggestions on what helps to relieve morning sickness. After, I just listen, and then offer a list of things “that might help, but they may not work for you.” And feel really bad that I can’t just take it all away or give them a cure-all!

2. When a mom is experiencing the last few weeks of her pregnancy, and comes in with that I-can’t-take-another-day-of-being-pregnant attitude, I take her seriously. Until I was pregnant myself, I didn’t realize how awful you could feel, and how desperate you could be to just get the baby out. But you do really feel like this will last forever during those last days, and a shoulder to cry on can mean the world!

3. Giving birth naturally hurts! Not that I didn’t realize that before. And not that it’s not a beautiful experience. But the intensity of the experience amazed me. I still remember right after my first baby was born, the midwife instructed me to move so she could place fresh pads under me. She kinda grinned and said, “hey, you know what to do!”, and it dawned on me that there was no way I could move those two inches off the bed…I was WAY too sore and tired…and I told her “I know what I’m supposed to do, but I was under the impression that I’d still be able to move after I had a baby!” That made her laugh-but it didn’t seem very funny at the time! During the actual births of both of my children, I also remember how easy it was to feel over-stimulated, and I made me realize how much I personally appreciated quiet during labor and delivery…and it gave me a greater desire to try to carefully understand what really made each individual mom I’m working with feel able to relax and concentrate on her birth.

4. Having a baby changes your life! And here I’m not talking about the birth…but the fact that this little person has come here to stay. And he is totally dependent on YOU for everything. I really thought I knew what it was like to be tired…really tired…I mean, seriously, being up for 48 hours at back-to-back births makes you exhausted! But I had no idea what it meant to be up every 2 hours around the clock for days on end. Now, this is another subject for another time…as both of my babies have struggled with nursing/sleeping/tummy issues….but I do remember when one baby was 2 weeks old, wondering if I would ever know what it would be like to sleep solid again. But I understand now what postpartum depression can be a real live thing to deal with, and why a new mom needs lots of understanding, a listening ear, and sometimes just assurance that what her baby is doing is normal…maybe she knew that herself at one time, but it’s hard to remember when your life has just been turned upside down!
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Well, these are just a few things that come to mind when I think of how I look at things differently from this perspective….while it’s been a change, it’s been a good one, and I love my little ones and the experience of carrying them and being able to deliver them at home. But it’s not always easy, and requires alot of work and sacrifice. And when I do a birth now, it means nursing baby comes along, and I don’t get to sleep until I feel caught up…but those days will come again…and quickly, I’m told, by moms further ahead than I am!

In closing, I feel like there were definite advantages to being a single midwife to being a midwife who is married with children. But there are advantages to this stage, too. And I can’t say that I feel like one is way better than the other-it’s just a different perspective, and different time in life. I’d be interested in hearing your perspective in the comments…what do you see as advantages/disadvantages to using a care provider who hasn’t had children herself? or how has your perspective changed since having children yourself?