June 21, 2014 by gentlemidwife

Another Birth Story!

We recently celebrated our daughter’s birthday, and I thought maybe you all would enjoy reading the story of her birth…this was written almost 2 years ago….just before the birth of our second:

Ever since my daughter was born, I’ve wanted to write down her birth story, both for myself and for her to read someday. Now that “little brother” will be making his appearance any time, I figured I really should get her story written before having another birth to get it mixed up with. So here goes….

Our baby was due June 26, which meant that I really wasn’t expecting to have a baby until the end of June, or maybe even the beginning of July. After seeing many first-time mama’s get so disappointed over not hitting their “due date”, and proceeding to go at least a week overdue, I was determined that I wouldn’t set such expectations.  This was one area where I really didn’t have an expectation…the week before she came, I was busily painting several rooms in our house (“nesting instinct” for sure!), and then Joel’s family hosted a surprise baby shower for us on June 18. While the shower really was a surprise, he had talked with me about dates for something, and I assured him that I would still be doing quite fine by Father’s Day weekend, with probably another couple of weeks to go yet. Shows you how much I knew, after all! During the last 6-7 weeks of my pregnancy, I had continued to get very swollen, and my blood pressure was creeping higher, so I wonder in retrospect if my body just realized that it was time to get the baby out.

I still vividly remember getting up Sunday morning and noticing some bloody show, and signs that my water had possibly broken. I wasn’t totally sure (and wouldn’t you know, that was the one weekend that another midwife was using my kit, so I didn’t even have the test strips to check it out!), but I started crying as I told Joel about it, which made me wonder if maybe I really was going to start labor soon. Since my mother had several labors where she experienced prolonged rupture of membranes, once again I didn’t want to count on anything happening very quickly. I figured it could be a good while yet before we saw any “action”, so I still got ready for church…I didn’t really want anyone asking any questions, and since our home is right off the road, I knew that EVERYONE would know that there was the possibility of something going on if I wasn’t at church and yet our vehicle was in the drive.  During the service I was a bit uncomfortable, experiencing some cramps and things, but still nothing regular. After church I had a humorous conversation with two moms about how I shouldn’t get my hopes up in going anytime soon…and inwardly I was smiling as I figured I probably only had days or hours left, and not weeks!

With it being Father’s Day, we had planned to eat lunch with his family down the road (they only live a mile from us, so it wasn’t far). Joel wondered if I still wanted to go, and once again I wanted to show up just to keep people from knowing what was going on. I still felt pretty good, though I could tell that the cramps were getting stronger, and I was beginning to lose a bit more fluid. Everything went fine until right at the end of lunch, when all of a sudden I just wanted to be home…and I was afraid that the pad I was wearing might not be catching all of the fluid! Joel caught the message that I wanted to go, so he made some remark about the pregnant mama needing a nap, and whisked me out…with my swollen feet and hands, no one objected to my not helping with dishes, or wondered anything about us leaving so quickly!

We came home and laid down, and right around 3 or 3:30pm, I experienced my first REAL contraction. Not one of those low-crampy kind of aches, but the actual thing. It woke me right up, and after that my adrenaline kept me from sleeping anymore. However, things still picked up slowly, with the contractions only coming every 10-15 minutes or so, and were fairly easy to relax through. At this point, we called our folks to let them know that it looked like I really was in labor, which of course made them all excited. I still was figuring on hours and hours yet to go, so I took care of some things around the house, and Joel had a friend over for an early supper (they sat out on the porch to talk). At about 6:30, the contractions got more intense, and started coming more frequently. Joel thought it would be a good idea to call the midwives and let them know, especially since one was coming up from Lancaster and had a two hour trip ahead of her. I told him that I was fine with letting them know what was going on, but that I probably had another 24 hours at least to go, so there wasn’t any hurry. He didn’t agree with me, which was a good thing!

By 8:00, we went ahead and had Rose come over, as Joel thought I should have someone here. He also called Debby and told her that he thought she should go ahead and come…and meanwhile the contractions were about 5 minutes apart, lasting around a minute. I changed into more comfortable clothing, and tried to get comfortable, though I wasn’t finding it easy. I finally got in the shower, which gave some relief. Rose wondered if I wanted to be checked, but I didn’t-I was afraid at this point that I was probably only at 2-3cm, and wasn’t sure I could handle that news with how intense the contractions were.  Joel started filling up the tub, as I always thought that I would like to labor in water…though our tub faucet wasn’t working well, and it took an hour to fill up! By 9:55, Rose suggested that she check me, and Joel encouraged me to…and I was a stretchy 6-7. That was encouraging, though the contractions by now were coming so close and so hard that I was finding it difficult to stay on top of them. The most comfortable thing I could do was sit on the birth ball, lean my head on the bed, and squeeze onto Joel’s hand…and there was NO way I could think about making the effort to get into the tub at this point!

That next hour was intense, with the contractions coming every 2-4 minutes, and lasting a good long time, and I was beginning to wonder how I could ever get through a whole night of this. I still remember thinking “they always say that when you think you can’t do it anymore, you’re almost through”, but then dismissing the thought as wishful thinking.  By this time, we were beginning to wonder where Debby was…Rose called her, and found out that she also figured she had a good amount of time to get there with this being my first baby and all, and she hadn’t left right away. I couldn’t blame her, as I would have done the exact same thing! Rose told her she should hurry…it was 10:40pm by that time, and I was close to 9cm. That surprised all of us! Just before 11:00, I started feeling pushy, and Rose said I was complete. Right about that time Debby walked in, so I felt like I could relax to begin pushing.

By this time I moved to the bed in a semi-sitting position, as it seemed to be the most comfortable for pushing. The pushing part was not at all what I was expecting…I guess I had heard enough moms say that they enjoyed that part of it as it felt like they were doing something, but I felt like I wasn’t making any progress, and there was a constant sharp pain near my pubic bone. It took only 35 minutes of pushing, and she was born with a nuchal hand…which I think attributed to the pain during pushing AND to the tear coming out!

Having that squalling little baby put on my chest was amazing…I kept looking down at her and thinking, “she’s mine to keep!”. Although we hadn’t had a sonogram during the pregnancy, Joel and I both felt like the baby was going to be a girl, so it almost felt like it was no surprise to see our little daughter. She pinked up and cried right away-just about as perfect as it can get. I was in for another surprise, though…I felt so sore that I could hardly move afterwards! The placenta came about 10 minutes after her birth, and I was so relieved to have everything all over, and thankful for how well everything had gone. Postpartum continued without incident, though it almost made me laugh to think of how difficult it was to get out of bed just to go to the bathroom, and how incredibly sore and tender everything was-and this was a small baby! I decided then that I did not believe the nonsense that is talked about in regards to a mom not needing pain relief if she is sutured right after birth, as she is still numb and on a high from the birth…that certainly was not the case! 

Rose was ready to go within two hours after the birth, and since Debby had been up the night before at a birth, she stayed the rest of the night to catch some sleep before heading back. We were so grateful for how the Lord took care of every detail, and gave us a wonderful first birth experience, and a beautiful, precious daughter!

our little princess!

April 29, 2014 by gentlemidwife

Pictures from the “Office Project”

Today I’m taking a break from educational and informative posts…I finally had a chance to take some pictures of my newly finished office, and thought it would be fun to let you all take a peek! When we moved into this house, I was excited about one room that had built in counters and cabinets, plus a little desk that faced a window. The room had alot of potential, but it also badly needed lots of work and paint! It was one of the big projects that my husband and I tackled this winter, and as usual, it took longer than what I was anticipating. 🙂 But now that it is finished, we are both really pleased with the results! So here’s a little peek, along with an updated family picture that my sister took this weekend…

My favorite corner-it’s perfect for studying, sewing, paperwork and so many other things!

The lovely tree that my mom painted while she was here visiting

The “baby wall” with many pictures of babies that I’ve either delivered or given care to

The beautiful exam table that we just purchased…it even matches the color scheme!

More of the “tree wall”-the angles in this room make it hard to get good pictures

Another side of the room

Our little family – April 2014

March 3, 2014 by gentlemidwife

February Travels…and what the CPM Title Actually Means

Beautiful palms and lots of green-we soaked it up while we could, and then returned to 12 in. of snow still on the ground at home!

Happy March to each of you! I am really ready for winter to be over, especially since this one seems to be stretching on and on. This past month has been busy, and I even enjoyed a 6 day reprieve from cold when I took my 15 mo. old to Costa Rica in order to attend a dear friend’s wedding. It was a great trip, though not without excitement (like when I realized I left my wallet behind when I arrived at the airport and was ready to depart…or when flights were cancelled due to weather…and other such things….so grateful for how the Lord took care of every detail!). The chance to reconnect with old friends was very special, and it was fun to introduce them to my little fellow, though it would have been even better if my husband and 2 yr. old could have joined us. They seemed to manage quite well on their own, but we were all ready to be back as a little family once again!

The way to travel with a toddler…

Matthias LOVED playing in the water-this same day it was -10 in PA!

I was trying to come up with a good idea to write about this month, and then I thought that perhaps I could blog about one of the items on my list of things that I want to add to my prospective client handout folder. One question, or series of questions, that comes up frequently during the initial interview has to do with my certification, and what exactly it means. There are so many different names and titles out there that it can be confusing at times! When you go to figure out what care provider is right for you, it is helpful to have an idea of what his/her qualifications are, and what all is entailed with those. So, here’s a brief look at what the Certified Professional Midwife title means…

The North American Registry of Midwives (NARM) was founded in 1987 by the Midwives Alliance of North America, and they oversee the certification standards of the CPM credential. In order to become certified, one must first show that she can provide competent, safe, and qualified care to mothers and babies throughout the birth and postpartum process, both by completing academic studies and by demonstrating care in a clinical setting. This requires that a prospective midwife both study through a NARM-approved academic institution, as well as complete an internship under the supervision of other certified midwives. Proving that one has the mastered the skills necessary to provide knowledgeable care takes time, and there is an extensive set of qualifications that must be met before one can sit for the final exams that cover questions relating to each phase of maternal and infant periods. Once the exams are passed, re-certification must take place every 3 years, which requires ongoing continuing education and re-certification of CPR and NRP.

When I first looked into obtaining midwifery education, I decided to pursue getting certification, even though the state I was working in did not recognize the credential. It was important to me that I do my best to provide the best care possible, and submitting to the qualifications necessary to become a CPM helped prospective clients to know that I took my job seriously and that I had demonstrated the ability to pass the national standard for midwifery care. In areas where licensure is not offered for homebirth midwives, this certification also gives clients the assurance that a certain level of training has been taken, instead of not having any idea of what a midwife’s qualifications may or may not include. Interestingly, many of the states that offer licenses to midwives are using the CPM as the basis for their training requirements. While many midwives who do not have the CPM title are competent and experienced, I feel like having a standard of competency for certification helps to ensure safety and high standards of care for each mother who desires to birth out of the hospital.

Finally, I like the way this quote sums it up, taken from http://www.nacpm.org/what-is-cpm.html
“A Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) is a knowledgeable, skilled and independent midwifery practitioner who has met the standards for certification set by the North American Registry of Midwives (NARM). CPM is the only international credential that requires knowledge about and experience in out-of-hospital birth.”

If you’re interested in looking into this topic further, I’d suggest you check out these links:
http://narm.org/advocacy/narm-brochure-text/ gives a good overview of the Midwifery Model of Care and how CPM’s help to promote this, and http://midwifeinternational.org/how-to-become-midwife/certified-professional-midwife-vs-certified-nurse-midwife-whats-difference/ details the differences between the CPM and CNM titles.

Feel free to let me know if you have questions, or if you’d like to add a comment regarding this…thanks!

Little M ready for his newborn exam…a March baby who will be having a birthday soon!

February 3, 2014 by gentlemidwife

Learning Empathy…

A big thanks to each of you for your interest in helping to get Gentle Delivery Childbirth Services off to a great start here in State College! During this past month I’ve had a chance to interact with a number of new friends, and I’m enjoying the opportunity to learn more about what this general area offers as far as birth choices. If you haven’t done so, take a minute to check out and like the new Facebook page: www. facebook.com/gentledelivery I’ve also added another testimonial to the website-feel free to read through that as well!

As many of you know, I practiced midwifery for a couple of years before I married and had children of my own. During that time, I occasionally met a prospective client who wasn’t sure about using someone for care who hadn’t experienced birth herself. In all honesty, being a single midwife allowed me to give much more to my clients, as I didn’t have the same pressing schedule-it didn’t matter if I disappeared for 2-3 days at a birth, as no one was depending on me to be around! Sometimes when I think about those days, it dawns on me how much more freedom I had to spend time learning, talking on the phone, answering questions, making home visits, spending hours with clients, taking classes, teaching, etc.

But the flipside does have some advantages-I now have an increased level of empathy. I don’t think that I wasn’t sympathetic before. But, my ability to feel with another mom the challenges she is going through has dramatically grown. And the realization of how much growing a baby, giving birth and adding a new member to the family changes things. So, for those of you who have been curious (there were many times a client would tell me, “I want to be there when you have a baby yourself! :), here are a four specific ways my perspective has changed:

1. I now know what it means when someone says “nothing works!”. During my first pregnancy, I had severe morning sickness. The kind that lasted and made you throw up and generally wish you weren’t alive anymore. I would lay on the couch feeling terrible, and cry just thinking of EVER having another baby, because if I was this sick with the first one, how would I ever take care of another baby while going through this. Not exactly the best thing to be thinking at that moment-“sufficient unto the day are the evils thereof”, right?! 🙂 Before I went through this, I would freely hand out suggestions on what helps to relieve morning sickness. After, I just listen, and then offer a list of things “that might help, but they may not work for you.” And feel really bad that I can’t just take it all away or give them a cure-all!

2. When a mom is experiencing the last few weeks of her pregnancy, and comes in with that I-can’t-take-another-day-of-being-pregnant attitude, I take her seriously. Until I was pregnant myself, I didn’t realize how awful you could feel, and how desperate you could be to just get the baby out. But you do really feel like this will last forever during those last days, and a shoulder to cry on can mean the world!

3. Giving birth naturally hurts! Not that I didn’t realize that before. And not that it’s not a beautiful experience. But the intensity of the experience amazed me. I still remember right after my first baby was born, the midwife instructed me to move so she could place fresh pads under me. She kinda grinned and said, “hey, you know what to do!”, and it dawned on me that there was no way I could move those two inches off the bed…I was WAY too sore and tired…and I told her “I know what I’m supposed to do, but I was under the impression that I’d still be able to move after I had a baby!” That made her laugh-but it didn’t seem very funny at the time! During the actual births of both of my children, I also remember how easy it was to feel over-stimulated, and I made me realize how much I personally appreciated quiet during labor and delivery…and it gave me a greater desire to try to carefully understand what really made each individual mom I’m working with feel able to relax and concentrate on her birth.

4. Having a baby changes your life! And here I’m not talking about the birth…but the fact that this little person has come here to stay. And he is totally dependent on YOU for everything. I really thought I knew what it was like to be tired…really tired…I mean, seriously, being up for 48 hours at back-to-back births makes you exhausted! But I had no idea what it meant to be up every 2 hours around the clock for days on end. Now, this is another subject for another time…as both of my babies have struggled with nursing/sleeping/tummy issues….but I do remember when one baby was 2 weeks old, wondering if I would ever know what it would be like to sleep solid again. But I understand now what postpartum depression can be a real live thing to deal with, and why a new mom needs lots of understanding, a listening ear, and sometimes just assurance that what her baby is doing is normal…maybe she knew that herself at one time, but it’s hard to remember when your life has just been turned upside down!

Well, these are just a few things that come to mind when I think of how I look at things differently from this perspective….while it’s been a change, it’s been a good one, and I love my little ones and the experience of carrying them and being able to deliver them at home. But it’s not always easy, and requires alot of work and sacrifice. And when I do a birth now, it means nursing baby comes along, and I don’t get to sleep until I feel caught up…but those days will come again…and quickly, I’m told, by moms further ahead than I am!

In closing, I feel like there were definite advantages to being a single midwife to being a midwife who is married with children. But there are advantages to this stage, too. And I can’t say that I feel like one is way better than the other-it’s just a different perspective, and different time in life. I’d be interested in hearing your perspective in the comments…what do you see as advantages/disadvantages to using a care provider who hasn’t had children herself? or how has your perspective changed since having children yourself?

January 1, 2014 by gentlemidwife

Matthias’ Birth Story

With this being the start of a new year, I’m attempting a new start at keeping this blog more up-to-date. My hopes are to at least post once a month, so we’ll begin with this, and see if I can keep it up! Blessings to each of you in 2014!

Having just celebrated Matthias’ first birthday, I thought you all might enjoy hearing a few of the details surrounding his birth…

They say that being a midwife to a midwife can be a challenge, and I’m afraid I’ve proved that to be true once again. My second pregnancy, while easier during the first half of the pregnancy, was definitely more uncomfortable during the last several months. My friend/neighbor was expecting as well, and since we were due the same day, we joked about who was going to have hers first. In hindsight, I don’t think I was really joking-I thought I should be the first one, as I was certainly bigger and seemed to be more uncomfortable!

However, wouldn’t you know, but 2 weeks before our EDD, my friend calls me at 4am wondering if I’m having my baby, as she thinks hers is on it’s way. At the beginning of her pregnancy (before I knew I was pregnant myself!), she had asked if I would deliver hers, but with our due dates being so close, it was pretty much impossible to commit to it, which was disappointing for me, as births have been pretty few and far between since moving to PA. Once she found out I wasn’t in labor, she said she’d call if things progressed before her midwives arrived (they had 45 min. to drive), and sure enough, things progressed rapidly, and I was soon on my way up the hill and had the sweet privilege of delivering a little boy about 10 min. before the midwives arrived. It really was humorous, me, who was so big and cumbersome I hadn’t cleaned my own tubs in weeks, was leaning over a large tub delivering a baby without any thought at all!

Baby E – here about 1 hour old!

I remember reading somewhere when I was initially beginning my midwifery training about there being strong hormones present at a birth, and how these sometimes made other pregnant women have their babies when they were exposed to a birth environment, so it wasn’t very hard to wish that I would have my own baby yet that day. However, it certainly didn’t work that way, and I began what turned into a very long week. With my first baby, I had no “false labor”, and everything was very straight forward. This time around, I had night after night of timeable contractions, little sleep, and an active toddler to care for during the day. Then Thanksgiving vacation arrived, and Joel was home from school for 4 days-and that would be a PERFECT time to have a baby. But that didn’t work either! By the end of the week I was a basket-case…exhausted, ready to be done, my blood pressure was going up and making me feel sick, and I was ready to do anything to get this baby out. My midwife suggested that I try to get some sleep, and wait to do anything until I was rested…which sounds like something I would have told someone else…but wouldn’t hardly hear myself.

Sunday morning I again had timeable contractions. Strong enough to be uncomfortable, but I wasn’t going to dare miss church, lest all the ladies wonder if I was home in labor, only to show up pregnant again next week. We had a Thanksgiving get-together with Joel’s family, and by the afternoon all my possible labor signs had died down. I hiked up our mountain trail TWICE (really desperate!), and gradually got grouchier as the day wore on (hormones kicking in, in retrospect). By afternoon we had decided to give castor oil a try, so I started chugging, and consumed more than I will recommend to anyone to take again. However, by the end of four hours of hoping something would kick in, it felt like nothing was happening. I cried again…and talked to my midwife …she lived 2 hours away and thought she should go ahead and come “just in case”, but I was just as adamant that there was no reason she should drive all that way only to turn around and go home again.

At 9:30pm I checked to find that was a good 4cm dilated-not much more than a few days before. So I let my midwife know that nothing was going on, and I was giving up and going to bed. Joel and I had a few minutes to talk, and then I had a contraction around 9:45pm. We thought, maybe things are actually going to start…and a few minutes later they did…this time I had a massive contraction, followed quickly by another and my water broke. Joel jumped up and said he’d better make sure Debby was on the way. She assured him that despite my wishes that she would wait, she was already on the road. By the time he came back to our room, contractions were coming so strong and so fast that I thought I was going to go crazy. At that point I asked him if we should go ahead and tell Rose to come (she was a midwife friend of ours who lived close by and was home in our area for Thanksgiving break-we had been hoping she could be there for our birth). He gently told me that I had contractions like this for a long time with Yoanna, so there really wasn’t any rush. To this I replied that if I had to go a long time like this I would just die, and I meant it.

Because he was teaching school, Joel needed to have a sub to take his spot the next morning since it looked like he wouldn’t be going in himself. So he quickly got on the phone to line one up-he had made some tentative plans but needed to make sure they were confirmed. It felt like he was on the phone forever…the contractions were incredible, and I didn’t even have time to move between them…every time I even breathed another one would start, and I never even got up off the end of the bed. By about 10:05, I started calling for Joel…not too loudly, as we wanted Yoanna to stay sleeping…but I didn’t know how I was going to make it. When Joel realized how serious things were, he tried to call Rose…which took longer than it should have, as I had scribbled her number on a scrap paper, and couldn’t tell Joel where to find it! I still remember him finally getting ahold of her, and hearing him tell her that she’d better hurry, as he didn’t think she had 10 minutes to get here (and she only lives 1 mile away!).

Right about then I realized that unless Rose really hurried, no one else was going to be around. This baby was COMING! Thankfully, I had set up my birth kit earlier that day, and everything was ready. Joel had the bowl of immediate supplies handy, and stepped right up to the plate. It was kinda weird…one minute I couldn’t think of anything, and the next minute I’d think, “oh, I need to make sure I…” Guess that’s the strange side of coaching so many other people through their births! Joel did especially well at helping me to slow down and breathe, allowing Matthias to be born slowly…I felt like my body was just pushing him out without me making any decisions. At 10:20pm, Joel caught his son, and handed him to me, and we both looked at each other a bit awed. It was just over 25 min. from the first major contraction! Rose walked in about 2 minutes later, about as surprised as we were to see the baby had already come.

We quickly called Debby, and told her we were in good hands with Rose, so she turned around and went home…good thing, too, as she had a quick one the next morning that she would have missed if she had been at our place. Rose took care of all the remaining things, and Joel said he was really glad to have her walk in and finish the job. We were so grateful for a safe birth, but for the record, my husband says he isn’t going to plan on delivering the next one solo. And we found out why the last weeks were so uncomfortable…Matthias weighed in at 9 lbs., over 1 ½ lbs. larger than his sister!

About an hour after his rapid arrival!

Big sister meeting baby brother

Matthias around 1 week old

Gentle Delivery Midwifery Services (Centre Co. PA)

"…He shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

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